水曜日, 11月 25, 2009
I aspire to be an eloquent speaker...(fullstop)
You know how I can be cold towards people, choosing to stay quiet and not interact? Sometimes its because I have no mood to talk, sometimes its because I don't think its worth talking to you and sometimes its because I want to make sure I know a person well enough and that he or she is someone whom I will be comfortable hanging out with before actually becoming good friends with that person.
You see, I have this problem with me that I believe developed when I became older. I don't know what incident caused this personality of mine. I fear that after knowing that person well enough I find out that I don't feel comfortable being around him or her and then it becomes tough to try to stay away. The best way is to tell the person honestly, but it becomes awkward after that and I don't like it. So how you tell me? What I have been doing is telling white lies, to give excuses to allow myself to escape doing something the other person hope I'd do like to walk together to the MRT station or to accompany the person somewhere or to take a picture when I don't want to.
I don't know if one can tell but when I say I don't want to do something, you can tell if I'm actually alright doing it or if I mean it. Most of the times I pretend to whine when I don't want to do something because it makes it less awkward. It doesn't help, I know. But what else can I do. If I say nicely they won't listen, I have to say in a very serious way that sound almost angry for the person to actually stop, and that will just bring our friendship to total stranger status.
Sigh. I think its time for me to continue to stay quite again. How saddening.
Now for the less depressing stuff.
... ...
What is less depressing this days?
Ah yar, all those who think that the world is going to end in 2012. So what the hell are you going to do now? You're still going to live your life as it is anyway right? SO STOP MAKING A BIG FUSS ABOUT IT!!! Darn irritating, I mean cummon, shut up already.
peesed ar peeeesed ar!!!!!
9:58:00 午後
