Morgan

2012-02-11T01:29:00.003+08:00

Experiencing pretty bad emptiness. If emptiness were an illness, perhaps I would be consoled.

(Starts to search wikipedia... ...Emptiness*enter*)

2012-02-10T20:00:00.003+08:00

Have you ever experienced a moment, not necessarily absolutely short but relatively, sheer enthusiasm in doing or thinking about something. Become so engrossed and focused on it, having so much hope for it as if it were something that would form the biggest event in your life. But before long, the enthusiasm just dies suddenly and is completely gone without a trace?

I hate it when it happens to me (yes, I hate a lot of things.) Because it just means that I don't have a goal in life! That is the saddest news any person has to hear! I'd go, "So what now?" And my heart starts to crumple like an empty coke can that is experiencing high pressures outside and low pressures inside. Slowly crumpling, one 'cruck' sound at a time.

And as that happens, your brain just goes into a state of panic because the hear crumples and it is a sign that the whole world is falling apart and as the brain it needs to save everything. The situation is so dire that your eyes can't focus and stays fixated and stares into space, the brows that are ever in coordination with how the eyes are feeling also fixes itself in a furrow. And in an instant, the body goes into mannequin mode. It's a horrible feeling.

Usually I'd just go sleep when that happens. Like computers. You restart the system. I feel fresher but the problem still persists, but it helps my brain relax and reshapes the crumpled heart (soaks in hot water and increase internal pressure so that the hot air pushes the walls of the can and straightens them.)

It would be better if people had somebody else who share the same enthusiasm in that idea. At least when they suddenly just loose it, someone is there to help them.

Hmm

2012-02-10T00:50:00.002+08:00

I think I'll get it...

After such a long time...I've finally ordered and finished a bowl of mee siam!! There I was in front of Toast Box and I went ahead to order a bowl of it. It was between Mee Siam and Mee Rebus. I took the 'sourer' one. AND I ATE IT! ALL UP!

Slight guilt but I was kinda craving it. It was either that or some sandwich somewhere or like just kaya toast. But like I am tired of eating the same food all the time. You know how you want some food but you know you can't have it because of reasons obvious to you? I've been living like this for awhile. Takes a lot of determination to, it really isn't easy. And then I got accustomed to eating the same food and it became difficult to eat a different one.

Hmmm, I don't make sense to you eh?

Anyway, how's this for a Pizza Topping

1. Worcester Sauce/Kecap Manis

2. Smoked duck

3. Asparagus

4. Tamagoyaki

5. Chinese Sausage

6. Tabasco (Optional)

Pizza done Asian Stahl

This Saturday ^^

2012-02-05T23:58:00.004+08:00

I know we are already into the second month, but I have one last resolution to make (at least before CNY ends officially.)

* I want to be more patient. In things I do, to you and me, and everybody.

Tang Yuan tomorrow!! (Actually I'm quite sian of it already)

2012-02-05T23:58:00.003+08:00

I know we are already into the second month, but I have one last resolution to make (at least before CNY ends officially.)

* I want to be more patient. In things I do, to you and me, and everybody.

Tang Yuan tomorrow!! (Actually I quite sian of it already)

2012-02-05T20:39:00.004+08:00

Clouds... ...

Heard that many countries are experiencing extreme winter conditions. A few people died in China because of the frigid temperatures. At -40deg, who wouldn't. Europe too, temperatures down in the negatives. -20deg?

Sumthing like that.

Suddenly thinking about Korea... ...I wanna go there soon...

I also wanna go back to Taiwan...oh no...

2012-02-04T22:12:00.005+08:00

DEFRIENDING

(click)

This is so relevant. At least I know that it's happening. There is even a term for it.

2012-02-04T14:10:00.004+08:00

It's about time I started wanting a leather jacket

(River Island's Navy Pu Drape Jacket)

RIGHT?

2012-02-03T13:17:00.003+08:00

Someone on MSN said yesterday, "Do you need an agenda to necessitate a chat?" Of course not in such good english.

I denied immediately. But soon regretted. I could require one.

But perhaps rather then an agenda, I would expect some sort of reason. The person obviously was being weird. Why would you start a conversation and expect the other person to start? That I did not ask to be talked to and was shot a question as such when I asked why was pretty confounding.

You do not call a person and ask the receiver to start talking randomly.

Be it a simply to ask about my well being or to make a request you should as the caller or person initiative a conversation pose the question first.

Please, I beg of you all. Be normal.

2012-02-03T00:03:00.002+08:00

Apple Pie...

Yea I am into pies now. I don't how this sudden interest in the dessert began, I can't recall...lemme try...hmmmmmm...think it began with strawberries...then I don't know how it follows.

So there you go, pies.

I spent the whole of this morning searching for publishing companies. How do bookstores sought their suppliers? How do they decide on the books to sell? I don't even know where to begin.

I thought that since I don't know a clever way to go about it, I'd just go with what I thought was logical. To search publishing companies in the UK and US. There were lots...I ended up randomly picking names out of the whole list. My search was made easier when I found out that the Big 4 companies such as Penguin Group, Prometheus, Random House and this other one acquired some smaller publishing companies. So from this I figured that than I wouldn't have to keep searching for publishing companies. I just needed these 4 to 6 and I have book suppliers! I can always refer to their website for new releases and then from there appraise the books and liaise with a Singapore distributor like Pansing to obtain my supplies.

So the end!

Not even close! So if every other bookstore does this, then how would mine stand out?

I proceeded on to research more publishers, hoping to find those that are specific in genre and who have interesting publishings that I can consider. Knowing how I can get publishers, I've completed step 1, which did not answer my call for help.

Evidently a business plan is missing in this entire equation.

An idea struck me much later but to my delight. Of course I need to review the books I sell. I want to know that I sell books that are good and marketable, I want to believe in the quality of the books I sell too. My customers would know that my bookstore promises them quality not just variety.

I am not keen on producing quantity. I love walking around bookstores but ultimately a good buy is the one that seals that love for books. I'd have my shop small. But with so many interesting titles, how do I make sure that I cater to everyone.

Many business people would tell you that it is impossible to cater to every single person. I agree and it is silly too. Why only dedicate yourself to meeting the expectations of them and not yourself. You have to satisfy yourself with your beliefs before others can do so. But you can't escape it, you can't just sell what you believe in. A good balance of the 2 is a success factor.

Solution, to sell books that the store generally believes in. Example, we sell particularly local publishings, classics and business titles...FOR EXAMPLE. But every month or 2 we could have a theme that we promote. Like for the month of January and February we could promote Asian Books. There will be books on all things Asia, from business in Asia to Asian Modern Art to Asian Comics and Travel Guides! There would be something new for people to look forward to every bimonthly. This becomes refreshing.

In addition, I could sell/promote and hold events in conjunction with the theme. Taking the same example, I could have Chinese Authors come down to have a talk or sell Asian stationary and crafts, I could organize workshops and even print brochures introducing external events that are happening that is related. So my shop becomes alive! That's the word, 'alive'.

I like soup spoons idea of having a monthly theme to their soups. It keeps fans curious and excited and that they always come up with the tastiest creations keep fans coming back for more and even increase their fan base. So from a business perspective, such a concept is definitely welcomed as it is refreshing. Speaking not from a business point of view, it gives me as the owner a certain satisfaction, I learn more from doing research for the theme and I know that I am putting in effort as the owner to maintain the shops standards and even improve it. It's a test of my diligence in the way I do things and my earnestness.

Today's society beckons quality service. To provide that, I'd have my employees be 'alive' too. They need to have reasonable knowledge about the products and services provided and help customers not in virtue of their job but because of their willingness to help. Taking pleasure in helping customers because they gain satisfaction from seeing a happy customer who likes what we have in the bookshop. Also they need to be updated on recent news. I think what customers like is to have that wall in between shop keepers and them down. I don't mean having to come up to customers to force them into a conversation but that customers feel comfortable enough to strike a conversation. Not that I want long conversations to occur between them but I'd like a friendly atmosphere brewing in my shop. It's just pleasant.

I think the world cannot survive without technology. I have to acknowledge. That I provide variety in the shop, I'd have to compensate with variety in my database. Creating an online shop is what most shops are going into now. Ebooks/online bookstores, kinokuniya also has one, there are publishers who print on demand and just awhile ago I stumbled upon the idea of a virtual office (no longer an idea actually, its for real). So if my customers can't find a book in the shop they can probably go to the ipads in the store to browse our online catalogue to place an order. Or if they are not adept at using the ipad, ask our staff for help to search for the book and place an order! Okay, I just think having ipads in the store would be SO COOL~ It is functional too. A necessity

Was also thinking of selling some stationery. Am missing the school bookshop which sells so many cute thingamajigs. Selling a bit of pretty stationery would give my shop a softer touch.

Yup, an out pour of ideas right?

But I'm so far away from starting one. I need to sort out a lot of things, the accounts part.

Financing, pricing, costing, storage, staffing, future plans, investments, growing my business. To have them global, yet not commercialised, like how monocle is doing it right now.

I just understood that you don't need to be commercialised to expand. To me, you can expand but as long as you don't become greedy and go full fledged into profit maximizing at terrible expenses of stakeholders and my own principles, then I'm good.

Commercialization in the Collins Cobuild Dictionary: Something is commercialized is used or changed in such a way that it makes money or profits, often in a way that people disapprove.

So to those who have told me that it is impossible to expand without being commercialized. Oh puhlease! It might not be easy, but it is possible. There is a distinction.

Haaaaaaah, I can sleep in peace tonight. No furrowed brows!

2012-02-01T23:43:00.007+08:00

英文和华文都一样优美。

Nope, Kopi-po at Ya Kun Orchard Central is...too po for my liking.

I spent about 2 hours studying there today. Finally set myself down to study after a month of scuttling around and finding my momentum for the new year. It's about time. I would like to pass the 2 papers and move on.

Starting to worry again about the future. It's ever so bleak. That I am majoring in accountancy, the pressure to become a successful one is even greater. And by societies standards, a successful accountant is one who is highly paid. I would like to be a normal accountant who does her job well, but alas, I succumb under the forces of societies unbelievably ridiculous mentality.

To imagine myself as a person who can handle a set of accounts independently... the thought of it sends shivers down the spine. Ooh I am shrinking! Shrink shrink shrink, getting smaller and smaller and smaller (squeak squeak!).

My new embarkation is starting to look exciting. It's first chapter set an avalanche of descriptions on me. Lots of bombastic adjectives and within thee, ostensible excitement which very sadly failed to excite me at all. Half the time I was struggling to feel as the story would like to have its readers. I just couldn't no matter how hard I tried. Either because I have seen so many incredible things in my life that none seem more incredible (how incredible can a frigate be?) or that I have had myself think nothing impossible in this world. I'll have you know that the second is more plausible.

Perhaps its the expectation I had of the book. Jules Verne, the father of Science Fiction, 20 Thousand Leagues Under the Sea is a popular classic read. But like I said I was hit by the avalanche of bombastic words and I was indeed interrupted by the constant need to refer to the dictionary. Yes it affects the fluency of the read.

The onslaught of big vocabulary continues. Now that it is reaching some sort of climax, it's become more interesting.

But I think the book would not do without all that description. That's the beauty of words really, how words are different and how they allow for precise description of a subject. I also enjoy the way Jules Verne writes, assuming that his style of writing has been translated accordingly as well. Don't know how to describe it. It's a bit different from that of Arthur Conan Doyle. I like both styles.

Totally irritates me when I cannot find a word.

New word: Peripatetic. A pleasurable idea to have.

2012-01-31T18:49:00.001+08:00

FABRICS

Colours

Patterns

Colours

Patterns

Flowers

Colours

Patterns

Colours Patterns

Oh its a wonderful, magical, world!

2012-01-30T22:32:00.002+08:00

别告诉我一些无根据的话。

最讨厌就是听你这些谎言了。

I should have expected it. Long snaking queues that is easily half the perimeter of the store, piles of books that are left messily around, emptied shelves. Page One's got a pretty mad sale. 50% store wide with some books with 60-70% discounts! I was pretty shocked when I saw the queue really. But hey, we all would jump right on good deals won't we?

After browsing the shelves and being a fellow "queuer" here is my advice to those who haven't gone to the clearance sale at Page One on how to shop smartly at a clearance sale

1. Know the books you want to buy: Really, the books are untidily left on shelves. Everyones just grabbing and going and the staff are pretty busy themselves to really help you. That the books are everywhere, it'll be difficult for them too. Knowing the book you want, the genre and the author's full name allows you to go straight to the shelves to check them out. You save a lot of time rummaging. Rummaging might allow you to find some hidden gems but chances are pretty slim. That I've been to Page One quite a number of times I kinda know how to search for books myself. They go by the Authors last name. So you search the shelves of the genre and start to find the book.

2. Stick with what you need: You'd be easily tempted to get anything and everything in a clearance sale. Its a gimmick. Every sale is a gimmick. You end up spending more than necessary. It is okay if you happen to stumble upon a good buy but it is not okay if you brainwash yourself to think that the book is a good buy. We subtly do it. All of us. I was browsing through the cook books and was really tempted to get some of them. It was really silly of me as I realized that I don't usually cook, and even if I needed a recipe, I could get them online. I'd only get a cook book that teaches me techniques of cooking or tell me the science of cooking or tell me the culinary properties of ingredients and methods of cooking them. These information are harder to find on the internet so it would be more worthwhile to get them. I'd be glad if I can cook 2% of the food on Martha Stewarts website. I definitely do not need another book as ornamentation.

3. Know your budget: Yes it is a 50% discount but know this, 50% is a relative measure not an absolute measure. I think many people don't understand this. A 50% discount definitely makes a book cheaper, however in terms of incremental costs, you are still incurring a cost when you purchase the book as opposed to not buying it. If you did not intend to buy it then give the book a second thought. Do you really need it? If you do then yes its a good deal but if you don't, you are then wasting money, you just waste 50% less money. But its still wasting money.

4. Time value: When there is a sale like this, you need to consider a few factors like, how much time you will waste queuing up, your chance of getting the book you need etc. Don't travel all the way to the store just for the sale. It's not really worth it unless you are doing it because you have time. It takes about an hour for a person to be able to pay for his/her grabs and that is a whole lot of time wasted. If you are in a rush then forget it. Bear in mind opportunity costs. If you can afford it then queue away! Otherwise you are just being silly.

Just to sum things up, that this is a clearance sale its a one off event that happens. To put it in a not so nice way, the ability to grab a deal depends on your luck. If you are lucky you'd get a good deal. Avid readers would definitely have a good one. But for those who aren't and visit bookstores to get specific books then, lets just forget this sale, work harder and earn money so that we don't have to die of desperation in such a sale.

I was in a semi desperate state when I was in the store. I was combing the store for books to buy. At least I still had my sensibilities intact to be able to remind myself that I should only get what was necessary. And it's because of this that I ended up getting only 1 book that orginally costs $6. With the 50% discount I save $3.

It seemed silly at first. One book, the cheapest one, in a queue with an estimated time of 1 hour? In fact I didn't know how long I would have to queue. It was late, almost 8 and I hadn't have dinner. Journey homes takes 30mins. The odds seem to be against me.

But look. $3 to a jobless student like me is a lot of money. When I have to be utterly conscious about my expenditure, what is one hour? I had time anyway and I was willing to wait. Didn't feel hungry, but I just didn't want to leave late. I thought that you know I might as well queue. It was definitely a test of my patience. I had to entertain myself by eve dropping on conversations around or have my eyes dart round the place for books that I could have wanted but missed out.

I finally bought 20 Leagues Under the Sea, something I've been eyeing for a few months already. Been waiting for this sale since last year when they speculated the closure of the store. I thought maybe I should wait. But I was a little late. Travel books on Korea and Beijing were snapped up, so were the Korean Language books and Jules Verne other book Journey to the Center of the Earth and the Sherlock Holmes Series.

A sale might be extremely exciting and enticing but it is also pretty stressful come to think about it.

Maybe, just for me.

(Quote"Sometimes its best to not think at all.")

2012-01-30T00:48:00.002+08:00

I knew it, Bruno Mar's "It Will Rain" sounds a bit like Rolling Stone's "Wild Horses".

But Wild Horses is better ^^... ...in my opinion.

Chilled at Su Xin's House today and we made the place pretty chaotic. At least our voices and our loudness made the place sound so. But it was fun. We had all of us (except Karina) present, which is really rare. It felt slightly like a reunion. Great way to celebrate CNY I guess.

My sister bought Febreeze hoping to rid of the stench on her bag so that she doesn't have to buy a new one. We got the bottle, and when we tried to spray nothing came out. Something was obviously stuck or blocking the nozzle but we couldn't quite figure out.

So she suggested googling it.

WHO THE HELL GOOGLES TO FIND OUT HOW TO OPEN A FEBREEZE BOTTLE? Lols TTM.

So anyway at the nozzle there is this On and Off indication. You have to turn the nob to 'switch it on'. -_- WHY ON EARTH DO YOU MAKE A SQUIRT BOTTLE SO DIFFICULT TO USE???!!!

So after we opened the nozzle, we started to squirt it on everything we thought needed to be cleaned. Chloe says that her friend used it on her sofa and the cat liked the smell so much it started rolling on the sofa. So I guess Febreeze works? It smells pretty nice though. Like baby powder.

Totoro is on my sis's chair now. I feel like holding its hand.

2012-01-28T23:41:00.004+08:00

Omg I feel like crying really.

Some aunty just put her knee on my pillow. WTF!

I really hate it when people come from outside and go on my bed. I really cannot stand it okay. Like hello, a bed is where somebody sleeps. Its like understood one what! So they just barge into my room, number one, stupid that I didn't close the door, I shoulda locked the door in fact. So fine.

Never mind that you enter my room, then you want to take a look at the window. Fine no harm. But can you PLEASE be like aware that you are in someone's bedroom?! And then, just to see that window grill, because you cannot see it properly you put one leg on my bed? ON MY PILLOW SOMEMORE!

WHAT THE FUCK!

I don't even let my family sit on my bed when they come back from outside or if they are sweaty. I don't even lie on my bed when I am dirty. The only time I go on my bed when I am dirty is when I am really really badly ill. Like when I kena asthma or gastric that I become immobile.

The worse thing is that I could have said something, but I didn't and it fucking happened! And that I allowed it to continue I feel that I was being fucking unfair to my family lor.

What the fuck.

I felt damn fucking helpless at that point of time. Like my mood went down all the way. Think everyone would have noticed if they saw. I really felt like saying, "Aunty, sorry but can you take your leg off my bed." But it sounds really rude, especially since my mood is already down, I find it very hard to smile. In fact, after that, I couldn't smile at all, I didn't want to entertain all the guests right after that. Just wanted to lock my door.

Told mommy. I felt really unfair to her. Like they are guests and she can't do anything either. And like she offered to change my bed sheets but that is not the point! Its worse if my bed sheets are changed! it's just wasting water to wash the whole sheet when only my pillow and abit of my bed kena. But I was really in a damn, fucking bad mood. Damn fucking bad.

Next time I will really lock the door. No one WIL BE ALLOWED TO ENTER!

Now I know why my cousin forbids anyone to enter her room.

...that I seldom used the F-word. Now yall know when I use it. This is one of them.

2012-01-27T22:01:00.002+08:00

It is a joy to play with children, but it gets really tiring after awhile.

Visited my Dua Yi on Wednesday. Mommy was on leave and so I tagged along. I wanted to because I was bored at home but more importantly because I enjoyed visiting the family.

Dua Yi is a nice Aunt of mine. I am not particularly close to her but she's just warm and friendly. Not to sweet nor formal with the way she presents herself which is what I like about people. 很不客气啦. My cousin, Dua yi's Daughter lives in this very well decorated condo and its just bedazzling every New Year. She's got awesome goodies too!

And every year, when my family visits, we'd see my cousins 2 daughters. Lauren and Leia. I saw them when they were baby and I sorta watched them as they grow up. Now big and chatty... ...one in Primary 4 the other in Primary 3, 2 petite sized girls. Both pretty rowdy in their own way.

---------------------------------------------

Since we don't visit the family often they don't really know me that well. They asked for my name and so I told them and then this is what happened...

Leia: You are the jie jie who likes to take photographs right?

Lauren: No she is not, its the other one. (My sister became "the other one")

Leia: No its this one!

Lauren: Really? Oh yah!

Me: Yah, I am the one who takes photographs

Leia: Where do you live?

Me: Guess.

Leia: No, just tell me!

You know some how, kids just don't like to guess. Remember many posts back when I was in taiwan, I also asked some kids to guess my name and they totally couldn't take it? Yah...its a kid thing I think...

Me: Okay I live in teletubby land.

Leia: *looks at me*

Me: ... .. -_-. Do you know who are the teletubbies?

Leia: (Very innocently) No!

Me: okay...

Leia: Who are the teletubbies?

That was when it hit me - I was old.

WHO ARE THE TELETUBBIES????? I had to then create another story that was more relatable, so I told her that I USED to live with the teletubbies but now I live near spongebob, under the sea.

Leia: Oh I know spongebob.

You see, they can relate now. Makes life easier.

So when a 22 year old Jie Jie who lives, not a in a pineapple, but also under the sea, comes what do you offer her? Wii!!!! They were like you wanna play wii. Said yes and they were on! I was actually very prepared to entertain them and play dolls with them. But kids these days, what dolls lor? Its iphone and ipad, wii and xbox 360 can!

------------------------------------------------

I don't know how many of you have wii but like the Xbox you have to create your account and your account avatar. So like every girl (I suppose), they were really excited to see my avatar. So was I. So I created mine they criticised and complimented my avatar and we just had little arguements over the avatars features and all. So then mine was done. I thought I could start playing. But no, I had to first meet their entire avatar family.

-_- (maximum sianness, but also maximum lols.)

Like they had a lot of avatars. And they kept creating more avatars... Like each of them has at least 5 avatars(WTS??). Was damn cute. They started to introduce each avatar (briefly to my relief) one by one.

--------------------------------------------------

I played some Wii racing game and Wii Olympic Game with them.

Wasn't really used to the controls so Lauren helped me with it while I raced with her sister. They were so confident that they would beat me because I lost the first 2 games. Subsequently, I beat them, Leia always in last place. Then you know kids, they become a bit sore looserish. And so I challenged them to a new game every time so they don't feel so bad.

Oh, I don't give in one. I don't loose to you on purpose, I just challenge you to a new game to give you chances to win me. I don't care if you are 2 years old or 40 years old. I just play!

Lauren's more sensible I guess. She helped me a lot with the controls and even when she's loosing she'd still offer guidance to me. I just sat on the sofa ahm chioing.

Honestly I got really tired after racing with them for a few rounds. Like the game...felt a bit no kick after awhile (lol)! But they were really excited to show it to me. And as a 22 year old, how can you disappoint these people? And even if you don't care, that your relatives are there, you also cannot disappoint them. I really wanted to call for half time.

--------------------------------------

But it was fun.

2012-01-27T13:24:00.006+08:00

FINALLY!! CROP JEANS ARE HERE!!

(Been waiting for it for 3 months already. Oh the bitter winter days are over! Rejoice!!)

Few pieces I am adoring... (its been a while)

I Want Them! (My Birthday is around the corner.)

2012-01-25T01:57:00.003+08:00

Maybe I got it wrong. Maybe it's time to not just think about things but to put what I've learnt to good use.

CNY day 2 is overrr. Feels sad? I'm not sure. Its the preparation that is fun, not really the visiting. It sure is for some people, but not me. Now...I don't really have anything exciting to look forward to...oh perhaps Saturday's dinner.

Oh and its the best time to buy clothes now. Post CNY is when the best deals happen!

2012-01-25T01:57:00.002+08:00

Maybe I got it wrong. Maybe it's time to not just think about things but to put what I've learnt to good use.

Oh and its the best time to buy clothes now. Post CNY is where the best deals happen!

2012-01-19T11:29:00.003+08:00

This is pretty much a GEE Standard day.

Wakes up (immediately) at 10am (or 8 hours from bedtime)

Brushes teeth, washes face.

Goes to kitchen and hunts for food.

Food hunted (brunch).

Brings food out to living room.

Sits down.

Switches on the lappie.

Eat while browsing web.

Finishes lunch in 15mins.

Continues to browse web.

Browse browse browse

Browses until I feel sleepy

About 12.30pm

Takes nap

Nap nap nap

Wakes at 2pm. Starts to browse web

browse browse browse

Dinner... ...

I look forward to every meal of the day

Conclusion: I have an unhealthy modern lifestyle

THE END!!

2012-01-18T12:14:00.002+08:00

Okay to my friends to whom I've been bothering since 2 years ago.

I am alas uncertain about my ability to embark on the Europe trip. That I haven't gotten a job and that I am struggling to manage my finances; that it seems that a compromise on the duration of our trip is difficult (we haven't discussed but...) I just might not be able to go next year.

I hope things are more certain by the second half of 2012 when I should be entering an internship or a job. But as of now I might pull out, hopefully temporarily. Thought that would not stop me from doing research as if I were able to go.

I've come to terms given the amount of savings I have for the trip that I can only go for maybe 2 weeks. And I think most of you will think that 2 weeks is ridiculously short especially for the amount I would pay on air fares and train fares, it would be economical to travel for a longer period. Moreover, a longer stay would mean more things to see and a more relaxing trip (I think). But this is looking at it in relative terms.

I for sure and very absolutely, given how much I have, cannot afford even a three week stay there. As much as it is more economical and more enjoyable, the fact that I will not have money to last past 14 days is fixed. Being economical doesn't mean that it is very cheap. Its just cheaper than travelling twice to Europe but still day by day you incur extra expenses. And even though I see more in 3 weeks than in 2, I will still never see enough, even if it were for 2 months.

My conclusion is that no matter what I will still want to go back to Europe again next time. I think it is pretty, excuse me, but it is daft to say that we won't be able to go back to Europe because we will not have time and well it is expensive. I think life isn't that sad. I've seen people with pretty normal pays go back. Probably not for an entire month but at least 2 weeks. But I wouldn't rule out the possibility of travelling overseas for an entire month even if I were in a job. It really comes down to our attitudes in later years, how hard we work, how able we are at managing our time, how much we fight for our right to freedom.

Okay ignoring all this rubbish about attitudes toward life, it is possible to go back to Europe one day.

I think my take on travelling in my later years has changed. No I will not only have time to travel after retirement. It's ridiculous. I think this mindset has got to change. Why are we placing such a restriction on ourselves? Perhaps I am still very 'unaware' about the working environment in Singapore, maybe bosses don't like their employees to take a months break given that the work place is always and will always be busy with influx of work that never ends. Maybe. But I think the way people rush into travelling before they start work or at least before their 30s is starting to look very ridiculous. It has mounted into paranoia if you ask me.

Looking at the real situation, I can't go to Europe and stay for 3 weeks. Not at the moment. If life has it that if I don't travel in my undergrad days I will never be able to travel again. THEN SO BE IT, said with disbelief that I will be so restricted. Really I don't think life is that sad. The only people who make it sad is ourselves really.

But many like I, like to place the fault elsewhere and make ourselves unjustified.

Well.

So to my dear dear friends. So sorry...but yar I can't... All of you go ahead...I shall have to prolong my anticipation.

(As much as I would hope that everyone can travel for 2 weeks. But it is logically, unfair that a person's enjoyment be compromised by the lack of money. I am willing to travel for just 2 weeks. But I think the rest of you aren't.)

2012-01-18T12:09:00.002+08:00

Okay the whole ministerial pay thing is just making me moody (so is my bad CNY shopping experience). Like really can we not discuss it anymore? Like everyone, minister or facebook or yahoo people. Just SHUSH!

Absolutely hate politics, ANYWHERE!

Suffering from anxiety now. Need to calm down (downs a cup of coffee). Okay Vivo?? Should I go Vivo?? HUH? HMM? SHOULD I SHOULD I???!!!????

(My face -> @.@ , now.)

2012-01-17T22:58:00.002+08:00

Fifty-Six

When the going gets tough, the tough get going. But when the going gets too tough, the tough will eventually just get migraine.

Started shopping at about 4 and shopped all the way till 8 and I still cannot find clothings for next week. Not even one!

2012-01-16T22:31:00.003+08:00

Tanjong Pagar seems like quite an interesting place to walk through.

Found quite a surprising number of Korean eateries housed under those 2 storied historic shop houses. What was also surprising was the number of investment firms that were stationed there. I thought I'd see more cafes, bars and shops then investment and design firms.

Lesson was tiring today. 3.5 hours a 45 minute lunch followed by another 3.5 hours. 7 hours really drains away a lot of your energy. My back was aching after the first hour of the second lesson.

Anyway, Paul Boulangerie is FINALLY OPEN! After listening to Rachel talk about the pastries she tried in France, with crisp pastries that were so delicate that were lightly aromatic, with wonderful custard or cream fillings that, in a bite, filled your mouth with immense pleasure, I can't wait to try some myself. I hope that there isn't a big disparity between the standards here and in France. Such stores must make sure that their standard is the same at every branch.

Hmm, shall save for a tart soon!

2012-01-15T13:16:00.002+08:00

There was something friendly about the atmosphere at the market at Kovan this morning. Markets throughout Singapore have been busy these few weeks and will continue to be busy till the eve of Chinese New Year, busy attending to the marketeers who rush to grab ingredients for Reunion dinners. Prices have been rising as we approach CNY and by 7am in the morning half the stock of fish, pork, poultry and other groceries have been swept up.

New year goodies are in stock now. Nuts and herbs and dried goods. I spotted this awesome sweet that looks like Turkish delight. You only by this from the normal grocer who sells food stuff. There are shops that sell goods for praying which sell the sweet too. Don't buy it from them, its not meant for you to eat. But the sweet is really light and fluffy and awesomely delicious. It seems to melt in your mouth which is what I really love about goodies. Kueh Bankit, Pineapple tarts, sugee, sweets etc, I like them buttery, soft and fluffy. Be it crumbly or moist. >.

The crowd is good. You get in everyone's way, and everyone gets in your way but its a silent understanding between the busy customers that this is all because of CNY. Therefore its friendlier as compared to other times. And usually for the Chinese, we don't like to dampen our mood before the New Year (and during it). We want to begin the year with a good start, we must be happy and nice. That would bring in luck and fortune to the family.

For this modern day dweller, its just about the excitement I experience when walking through the market. So much going on and they all distract you from the other. For a person with a pretty short attention span, its a feast for my eyes. The harmonious exchanges brings upon a bigger wider smile. This should be self explanatory.

Chinatown should be even more bustling. That is a tourist destination and that its the CNY hub, it will be.

Think I'll go down to have a look next week.

2012-01-15T00:25:00.002+08:00

When you know something else is bothering you... ...

If I cannot find my CNY clothes, I WILL REFUSE TO GO VISITING. Its probably the worst CNY shopping experience I've had. Last week and I haven't even gotten my tops, bottoms and shoes settled. Really 没脸见人啊!

Sigh...because of this I totally have no mood to do anything. I think about this issue day and night and night and day; when I eat, sleep and shit; when I sit and stand. Horrigible.

2012-01-13T01:24:00.013+08:00

Just imagine Elmo singing to Lady Gaga's Judas in his high pitched voice... ...and also imagine his dancing to Judas... ...

Scary.

Eating at Soup Spoon tomorrow!! So excited! Always excited to eat at Soup Spoon. Am a fan. Like really. Its my expensive comfort food really. Think sitting down in the shop for a bowl of soup is always relaxing. If only I'd take time to savour and not down the whole bowl in a few minutes...

So I've been thinking...with the emergence of ebooks and online bookstores, there doesn't seem to be a need for actual bookstores anymore. There has been a trend that sees bookstores close down one by one. And one more, Page One, ending its stay in SG end February.

I feel sad to see bookstores go. They are places I like visiting because of its ambiance. I like to walk round the shelves that seem to form a maze that is easy to walk through; the quiet yet busy atmosphere with people leaning against shelves browsing through books or shuffling their way around to search for a book and store assistance moving about restocking the shelves. To be surrounded books has become something of a pleasure to me these recent years. And that I took to liking books and being in a bookstore at such a late stage, seeing them go is difficult.

(turning sentimental...oh~mai luv~mai Dahling!)

Because of this I've been thinking of reasons people should preserve the traditional bookstore. But it seems to me that there are more that point towards its phasing out.

After all progress is what the world is about. Digital media has changed the way we live our lives and will take over it one day. Preservation is for memory sake. We know that it is important because it is a reflection of our culture, the way of life once upon a time. But somethings are just not worth keeping. At least from a business point of view, not unless someone with good foresight like Warren Buffet says its worth it's worth keeping.

Let's think about it. E-books help to reduce the demand for paper products, thus lowering the need to chop down trees. Or at least buying a book online would allow only demanded books to be produced. Preventing over production and thus wastage. For land scarce countries like ours truly, we reduce space used.

There have been people who say that reading online damages your eyes. Long periods of exposure to the harmful light radiated from the screens damages the eye that is. But look, its an excuse. All of us use the internet for such long periods. Its not like we are adding more time spent using the computer. It's just probably giving up some time for reading on the internet. There's only 24 hours in a day you know. And most of us do not cultivate proper reading habits such as reading under good light or making sure that the book is of a decent distance away from your our eyes. Who actually bothers?

I think if surviving bookstores were to want to survive for longer (and forever), we need to look into the function of the bookstore. What can a bookstore bring that its electronic counter part is unable to?

These days with everything going electronic, it is quite difficult to think of a reason.

Perhaps the answer lies in our need for personal touch.

Traditionally a bookstore supplies books; a medium for authors and publishers to market their books. Giant bookstore chains stock up tons of books to allow book lovers to have plenty to choose from within a single bookstores. It promotes convenience, comparability and also an environment that subtly encourages reading.

Similar bookstores such as Eslite in Taiwan even provide benches for readers to have a nice seat on which to browse their books. Hoping that this would entice them into buying it eventually.

But if a bookstore were to merely be a supplier of books, then places such as book rental stores and libraries would be able to rival it. Of course unlike a bookstore, libraries and book rental shops provide more second hand books. They do not quite provide the latest publications and often rely upon bookstores to provide so from which they collect and carry out their rental and lending business. That books can now be purchased online these rental and lending businesses have an alternative from which to obtain their supplies.

Bookstores also sell other items such as stationery and paper products such as cards and wrappers. Bookstores like Page One that specialise in design sell cameras and many little thingamajigs. Together with the books they sell, they make good profits which used allow them to set up a gigantic teritory in malls, sometimes an entire building.

That bookstores are closing down, consumers don't see a need to enter a store to compare books anymore. You can easily do so online. Which is even more convenient then ever.

So what is the next stage of a bookstore?

I would think that it comes down to the values that bookstores should promote. It should progress from being a mere engine to supply books. People who go to bookstores like Kinouniya and Page One are consumers keen on reading. Its unlike the customer in Popular, usually consisting of worried parents who are there to shop for school supplies and supplementary materials for their children.

Books are seen as a tool of education. And bookstores should really tap on this. I might not be updated on the events at the bookstores, but for quite awhile I haven't heard of workshops or talks being held at bookstores to promote books.

Libraries do host such talks occasionally. But they are not that well publicized either.

I think bookstores should be more proactive in promoting their books. That they are earning profits, they should invest in doing so. There are many people who love books and they would be keen to be told more about the new arrivals or the best sellers or have the authors talk about their book. There are many ideas to explore in this area.

Basically, think bookstores should seek to reinvent themselves. A store that does not only serve to supply a large quantity and variety of titles but a place that promotes reading, that facilitates learning, that creates a space which stimulates creativity and thinking and creates a place for people to share ideas with one another.

Bookstores can tap on new technologies, to have their book catalogue stored in a computer system where people can go to to search for titles. Some books can be displayed but not in large quantities. Space is saved and the large space can be used for other more value adding and profitable purposes.

So the take away here would be, to rethink space, and concept of the bookstore. To embrace technology and instead of jumping into it in entirety, find ways to combine technology with the traditional bookstores.

I took a few days to finish this entry...I started on Thursday. Its midnight now...its Sunday.

2012-01-12T12:35:00.002+08:00

Are we... ...losing that personal touch?

Do we appreciate things only for their aesthetic value?

The trees seem to be forsaken.

Our lives built on imagery not reason or meaning

Lives so structured and myopic

We never quite stepped out of the box we live in.

That box gets flatter as we progress

We never really progressed

We just went around and around

That's why we are confused

That's why we are lost.

2012-01-09T23:56:00.002+08:00

Hokay, I'm learning how to dress like a New Yorker now. I don't know how New Yorkers look nice in basics while we...just look under dressed.

But I think one fail proof method to make basics look good. Tortoise shell spectacles with loafers, ballerina flats of slippers (No not flip flops...its a type of covered shoe). Oh and a nicely tied up hair or nicely cut short hair.

I am so visiting Gap soon. And Fox...

F9 Lecturer.

"Do yall remember these? They were taught in F5. Remember that they were taught in those days?? Hmm? No you don't remember. After exam everything forget already, throw back to the teacher. Its okay, you are normal. That you throw back to the teacher and forget everything is normal."

Doesn't sound that funny here. You should have heard the way my lecturer says it. With that subtle sacarsm. I like his dry humour, always cracks me up. Woke up early in the morning to attend lessons at Tanjong Pagar. Alas, I alight at Outram Park instead of Dhoby Gaut to switch to the other line. The building isn't far from the MRT but Tanjong Pagar just sounds so foreign to me. It won't be for long though.

The schools pretty neat. A little too quiet for my liking but I like that it isn't too popular with students. Has that really exquisite feel to it. But that its a new school in SG everything's smaller than Kaplan. The toilet... ... I like how comfortable Kaplan's toilets are. Good place to sit and stone.

The schools on the 23rd floor and has a pretty good view of the city, the tall buildings of the financial district...the view is really different. Haven't seen such a view before. Different from that seen from MBS or Flyer or your HDB flat. At my school, you get sky scrapers in front of you. They don't quite block your view but compliment it. Quite awesome... Just very... in the business district lor. Happening in its own subtle way. Imagine staying on the 23 story of a hotel in New York with sky scrapers everywhere... ... just not that tall.

I think I should bring my camera to class one day to take a shot of the view from my classroom. I was really tempted to sit by the window. Sat in the middle in the end. The long window in the class just makes the class bigger and brighter, not claustrophobic. I don't have claustrophobia, but I like bright rooms with natural lighting. Feels easier to breathe in them and makes the environment cosy and relaxing. Maybe I am mildly claustrophobic... ... O.O hmmm.

Studying Financial Management. Something that, in my opinion, homes into what business revolves round. Listening to the lecture makes me that much closer to the business world. Its a whole new level. F1 to F8 hasn't been that intense in terms of the content discussed. It always felt distant some how. Financial Managements seems to bring us closer to the real deal. Going to learn how to measure future returns on investment to see if in they are worth investing in in the first place. Gonna learn how to make financial decisions and make money! So next time yall can consult me on this matter. Disclaimer! That I'm still a rookie, I shall not bear any losses you incur due to your reliance on my advise. You have been warned!! JENG JENG JENG JENG!!!!

Soup Spoons Jan specials are out!! They all look fabulous. I've been specially mentioned too!! For real, that is not some other Geraldine. All their specials look good. Think I will have trouble deciding on which to try.

Troubles of a Poor Girl.

(I want too read a book - random)

2012-01-09T23:16:00.003+08:00

Shopping wasn't fulfilling today. None stood out. The sales items that have been hanging in stores since November are still hogging space in the shops. Now I'm wish CNY was in February instead of being in Jan.

I thought I'd make a special trip to Abercrombie & Fitch. The exterior of the shop looked awesomely luxurious. 2 guys in a navy blue jumper over a collared shirt, cargos and slippers stood outside welcoming shoppers. Right at the entrance a shirtless dude stood by ready to take photo with anyone who'd want a picture with him.

I've heard a bit about the requirements of an Abercrombie & Fitch shop assistance: Physically attractive. I must say that they do indeed hire them. The guys have nice lean muscles and are I think at least 178cm? Some are quite handsome, some...just fit. The girls don't look that fab but are all slim. There weren't many female assistants though, I think I only saw 4 as compared to like 10 male shop assistants. Guess A&F decided that their shop assistants should mainly be males. Another way to get the best shoppers to shop at your store (is to get male shop assistants).

As much as I like how suave the layout of the store is, the moment I stepped in I thought, this is definitely not a place for the elder fellas. It was super dark inside. I know how muted the mood is in the shop that gives it this sexy yet smart charm. But really, its too dark. Usually I'd bound up and down the stairs at Topshop Knightbridge or the 2 story shops in Ion. In A&F I grabbed on to the handrails fearing that I'd miss a step and tumble down the staircase. No I don't want an unglam moment. The steps were nice illuminated but it just felt as if there was a gap in between each of them so it kinda feels unsafe. There are mirrors in the shop and many 'rooms' that you walk into that holds different sets of clothings. That it was so dark sometimes you couldn't tell where you should walk. If you weren't careful, you might make an early turn and bang into the wall. I managed to come out unharmed, but I wonder if I did cause damage to my eyes walking through the dimly lit shop.

The clothes, other than the jackets and coats, they weren't exactly that great. The material is good though. But the tees are definitely not worth $70. This is the problem with American clothings. Look the things about the American style is that it is basic. It's simple, using monochromatic colours. Yet it is smart and chic. Many New York based designers create pieces that are of that style. It is beautiful in its way. Very New York I would say, casual yet smart at the same time.

But in Singapore...this just doesn't work. We think a basic shirt should not cost more than $30 bucks. The shirts in A&F, $70. Way off the cap. But A&F clothes are made of really good material. I enjoyed touching the clothes and running the sleeve of the shirt through my fingers. It was so smooth and delicate. I was so tempted to buy them BECAUSE of the material. Really awesome. I became a sucker for quality materials last year, giving up shopping at Far East and Bugis because I think the clothes are crap. And increasing my patronage at Uniqlo and Zara. Even Forever 21's clothing is of a poor quality material. But that I am poor, I shouldn't be choosy. And so I aint'.

I'd go back to A&F again. I like the casual smart style. I love how people look smart in what they wear. Smart does not just mean neat by the way. I like the quiet, humble image that is being carried by the person who dons the clothing. As much as I find that the clothes are too expensive and the skirts too short, I think I'll be able to make sense of them soon or at least just ignore them and window shop at A&F as I do with other shops for inspiration.

I hope new stock enter shops before CNY and that I would be able to find something worthwhile soon before I cry me a river.

2012-01-08T23:52:00.002+08:00

Mommy needs me to find a picture or painting to replace the fish painting hung in the dining hall. She needs it urgently before my dad gets one that is horribly... ...that does not quite fit.

I could, one, try my hands at painting...but the chance of producing a bad piece of art is quite high and the materials needed would not be cost beneficial as compared to buying one. I could buy one then, but buying a piece in a rush is never a good idea.

Solution?

"Mommy, I think lets just leave the painting as it is for now until we find one that we really feel is suitable"

2012-01-08T01:04:00.002+08:00

AHHHH I HAVEN'T SETTLED MY CNY CLOTHING!!

Well, its not going to be an exciting year for me either. We won't do much visiting this year for some reason...(wonders why too). Thing is, I've always regarded Chinese New Year as the event that officially kicks off a whole new year. CNY always had this celebratory mood present especially in SG where majority of the people are Chinese, it seems as if the whole country is celebrating it. Stalls selling decorations, goodies and clothes just spring up everywhere, everyone of them in bright red and shimmery gold, florists with all their colourful flowers and well every shop playing CNY songs setting the whole album on loop. There is no escaping the mood.

Its the time when I say, okay I'm heading for a whole new year with new things to look forward too.

Since I decide that this officially marks the beginning of the year, then I should 'start anew' and dress anew. I don't feel complete without nice pretty clothes on the first 2 days.

I've already toned down on that need. Shoes isn't a must. I just need to be able to match them with my clothes. Only problem is...I only have one good pair of shoe in the shoe cabinet. So I am in dire need for another pair. Dire need.

And it's only 2 week till CNY.

Still seems a little crazy to rush into buying clothes. Mommy and I are expecting a bloody good sale right after CNY. And that will be the time to shop and grab the best deals. Silly to spend our money in a rush just for this one event. It's not like its a matter of life and death (maybe to me it is...) But its just frustrating...

Think it SHOULD NOT be a problem if I put in the effort to shop a bit more. Like really comb through every mall from somerset to orchard and beyond SG's best shopping district.

Rach.A: This friday we shop????????????? Do you need to shop? Need lah hor...(say yes.)

Zhen Yang: You also right. We shop lah hor...all celebrating CNY mah.. Shop lah shop (say yes.)

Sigh...Okay I haven't been to Far East in a very long time. Maybe I should go and take a peek...or maybe I should just skip it. Dunno. It's pretty far away. I feel lazy just thinking about it (walking to Far East Plaza).

Hmmm...

Honestly. I just need to find the perfect skirt, and everything will be a breeze...

2012-01-07T01:48:00.003+08:00

Any of you have this...thing where you only allow certain people to call you a certain name and no one else but that person or few people can?

Wah, think my knee cannot tahan liao. Quite worried that I over do my work out. But please lor, some people run like every day or like 5 times a week. I only run like what 2 times or if lazy once a week?

XIAN TTM!

Hi people who are starting uni next week. Can you tell me what courses yall have this sem that like I can crash?

Or if I can't, perhaps lunch together sometime?

2012-01-06T17:57:00.003+08:00

It was indeed a break that I needed to calm myself down. What I need to do now is just to be a bit more positive. This will take awhile.

Feeling awfully bored sitting at home. School's started and I ought to start studying. I can never escape the Start of School Term Procrastination. Takes awhile to get out of it. But I will, and that I am quite happy with my teachers (that I can understand them), I am motivated to study! Just, maybe, let me laze around for awhile more.

I'm still 'in between jobs'. Not really actively looking for one though. I should try a little harder because I don't want to end up being a person who just sits and waits for help. And I am starting to not be able to resist the enticing things I see online or whenever I shop. It's been too long.

Am really eyeing Kinokuniya. I like the atmosphere within the bookstore. Quiet and peaceful and friendly. At least it looks this way. Think what I want to look for is a job from which I can pick up a few business tips. Or some other skill would be good too.

Tuition...lol I think I'll just never feel ready for the job.

2012-01-04T14:43:00.002+08:00

Do you know the muffin man

The muffin man?

The muffin man.

Do you know the muffin man

Who lives on Dury Lane.

I wanna Muffin.

And so many other things actually.

Wanna chill at Toast Box MBS. In fact the whole of MBS is such a chillax place. But one cup of Teh/Kopi costs $2.00!

Sigh...

2012-01-03T23:48:00.002+08:00

After watching Sherlock Holmes, I had myself think about methods of self defense on the train and I used the people around me to help me think about my moves.

Poor people.

Its fun to incorporate science into the process of planning those moves too. You feel clever. You know how some think that in order to win a fight all you would need is strength. That's a brutes way of fighting. Which is pretty much brainless though strength would definitely be enough when fighting a person who is not trained in any form of martial art.

I should pick up a book about fighting one day.

(I just engaged in a deep convo with my sister... ...randomness)

So anyway. YAR!!!!! SO FUN RIGHT!! FIGHTING!

Yall should think about your fighting tactics especially when unarmed. Because close range battle is definitely not easy. First you definitely need sufficient strength especially when tackling a person bigger than you. To probably give yourself a higher chance of winning, you need speed. You need to catch your opponent off guard. You cannot give him time to think and react. Worse still allow him to predict your moves. Next you need to ALREADY know the reaction to his actions so that your movements will flow and well that will enable you to be fast. You need to know how to get your opponent in a messy state, that is to say make him unable to balance. Tackle him to the ground and just once and for all finish him by...dislocating his major joint or tearing his muscle tissue or paralyse him...somehow. Easy right! Tsk I can fight already.

Okay back to reading.

2012-01-02T20:40:00.001+08:00

Lethargy...

2012-01-02T03:41:00.000+08:00

Can Adele cover Rolling Stones Wild Horses?

2012-01-01T22:17:00.002+08:00

The Titanic Exhibition is pretty amazing.

No photography was allowed though which was a good thing for me as it stops me from becoming engrossed in taking pictures, wasting the money paid to for the ticket. Pretty pricey yet a long queue formed in front of the ticketing counter. It's probably because it is a public holiday today therefore the crowd. A good crowd though. It wasn't too crowded in the exhibition, enough room for people to move round the exhibit without being obstructed at any point of time.

I took my time to walk around the exhibit. I wanted to read and learn as much as possible. Didn't want to walk out and regret hurrying through it all. The rest of my family was way ahead of me, I wanted them to be close by so I don't feel that I am delaying their time. But let's put it this way, I made the money spent on my ticket extra worthwhile. Found myself bothering with every description of every artifact in the museum. I was secretly training myself to concentrate. I need to really do that to understand the situations around me. I did with effort and I came out more knowledgeable.

We all know that the sinking of the Titanic was a tragic event that happened in April 1912. But we are not able to quite sympathize with the people who were directly impacted by it. The horror families of the people who died in the tragedy faced; the grief they felt, the disbelief upon receiving the news. Even after my slow walk through the exhibition, I still don't feel it though I very much would like to. But I think everyone who went through the exhibition would have felt pity for the victims of Titanic. There were many reasons to furrow our brows.

The captain who was supposed to have retired but was called back to guide the ship safely across the Atlantic; the many people who knew captain Smiths credentials as a captain who bought tickets to travel on the Titanic knowing that the Smith was captain; the people who were transferred to the Titanic from another ship they were supposed to board; the many people who thought the titanic was unsinkable, what they didn't know was that the ship was not well prepared to save them.

We all know that one reason for the lost of so many lives, 1514 in total, was because of the lack of lifeboats, 16 with a spare, a reduction from the initial 32 boats that could only save half of the number of passengers onboard. Another reason was because of certain parts of the haul which was riveted manually as the hydraulic riveting machine was unable to access those areas. A riot had occurred near the launch date of the Titanic causing problems such as the lack of coal to power the ship through the whole journey. And the most epic one of them all, the most famous cause of the sinking, the collision into the iceberg. Failure of the watchmen to see the iceberg right ahead due to frigit temperatures, failed signals for help, the opening of 5 of the boiler rooms which made the sinking of the Titanic a mathematical certainty (ship would still float with the opening of 2, it will survive 4 open boiler rooms, but 5... ...)

The design of the ship was impeccable during those days. It was better than other luxury liners then. Kitchen ware for the first class made of China with a nautical design made specially for these ships, and those for third class passengers also surpassed standards of other liners. Saw the blueprint of the ship, really neat!

Before we entered the personnel who happened to be Haemal gave us a boarding pass with the details of one of the 1900 passengers of the Titanic. I was Mrs Hudson J.C. Allison (Bess Waldo Daniels), 25 years old, a first class passenger who was returning to Canada from Europe with her husband a two children aged 2 and 1 and 4 staff. I found out later that, except for the youngest child and 2 staff, everyone else perished together with the Titanic. Probably because she was not willing to part with her husband. Her daughter, aged 2, probably not willing to part with her mother.

Pretty cool, yeah. Yall should catch it before it ends in April.

Had dinner at MBS. Expensive but the portions were bigger so it wasn't that much expensive. Teh and Kopi were priced at $2 (Totally bo hua). Different cakes were sold though. Maybe I'll go there to buy the cakes before the promotion period ends.

R.Hoe: My sis tried the coffee macaroon. Says its good. We've yet to buy one from Singapore to make a comparison. Will do that soon!

Okay we've celebrated 2012, now to celebrate Lunar 2012!

2012-01-01T03:14:00.004+08:00

My sis and I talked for the first three hours of 2012.

And we are still not asleep.

How to go to the Art Science Museum tomorrow?

Anyway, we talked about friends and teachers and school. Mentioned about having serious conversations with friends. Said that you can never make a true friend until you can have deep conversations.

My sis describes the development of a close friendship this way:

First you joke and laugh and have fun together

After awhile, you start to see their flaws.

If you cannot get past the 'see their flaws' stage,

You can never be close friends.

Getting past doesn't mean that you are alright with it, but that you are able to handle it and that you decide that the good side of your friends outweighs that bad.

I totally agree with this. Which is why sometimes I feel frustrated.

I feel that sometimes deep conversations lack between me and friends. We joke so much to the point where I find it pressurizing. I feel that sometimes I am forced to think about something fun or funny in order to keep conversations going. Too some people perhaps they dislike serious conversation. But for me, I cannot survive on purely entertaining stuff. I feel that jokes are very, very short lived. Initially I might find it funny, but subsequently, I find it very tiring to have to entertain the joke. It's not funny anymore really. And I cannot just say that ae the joke is boring. Because some might think that I cannot take the joke, which is NOT the case. I just think it's boring already.

But how many will understand. The society thinks that if you say that a joke is not funny anymore, there is one AND ONLY ONE reason. Because you cannot take a joke.

Stupid right?

Why are we all living like this? Why don't we follow what our heart says rather than what others say?

To have a deep conversation is to say that we can share something intellectual, something which is WORTH talking about, which has a point. Like there is something we can share and learn from. Being with friends isn't all about fun. Its about learning together. Learning isn't just a process done in a fixed place you know.

A lot of people will blindly agree with this. Which is another thing I hate. I would rather you give what I have just said some thought before agreeing. Please digest it, otherwise you are just insulting me.

That being said, this juggle of fun and seriousness should come naturally. That it doesn't come naturally means that your friend does not share the same value as you. To some it's alright. Fine then. But to me, I start to question the point of talking or arranging meetings with that friend. Our meeting becomes very pointless. That I go out with you just to kind of entertain you? Tiring you know, it's like going on some business meet where I need to entertain my client... ...

Hearty talk till 3.15 in the morn. We WERE very much awake then. Chloe just knocked out and I blogging.

It's 2012:

My new years resolution is to be more honest about how I feel about things and situations. So I do not go home and think that I've just cheated my own feelings.

Also, I wanna learn to be more hardworking and be more hungry to learn.

I shall read more and ... facebook less?

Shall try to be more focused in the things I do.

I hope to be a happier person by the end of next year.

Cheers! (HAH!py New Year Everyone!!!)

2011-12-29T23:04:00.002+08:00

Doing last minute research on preparing Tempura. Every first time cook should really do research properly. But for people like me, sometimes you really want to do it without much research, encounter every problem you could possibly face before finding out about the specific problems. I learn more that way. Like to get straight into the action without being prepared for any problem. Resources are wasted when you do it, so I do do some research so that I minimize my (monetary) losses.

Tempura Batter - must be light. That way the tempura will taste better.

Use cold water in batter to prevent too much oil from being absorbed

Use eggs to create colour of batter, more eggs, darker yellow batter

Sieve flour. Don't over mix the batter.

Yup, I used normal drinking water, didn't use eggs and mixed my batter till it was smooth. I totally did everything wrong lor.

Very detailed advice on preparing and cooking tempura @ Cook Advice

Its the time...where people start to groove to...CHINESE NEW YEAR SONGS!!!

2011-12-29T21:29:00.002+08:00

WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE ASPARAGUS???

Made quick changes to tomorrows starter menu due to the sudden disappearance of Asparagus from the shelves of Supermarkets, giving me a bit of a shock.

Came across a lot of food that would be nice in a steamboat. Saw this Mustard Cheese ball in NTUC and some other similar food items. People, you should all go check out the supermarkets now. Mommy tells me that by the last week before Chinese New Year, most food items would have been sold out. You know how Singapore consumers are - very kiasu.

Feeling very excited for tomorrows dinner. I haven't practiced enough. I'm relying on memory, from what I've read and watched online, to cook tomorrow. How dare I...oops.

Browsing through the supermarkets today, I felt a sudden surge of enthusiasm to cook. I don't know why. I felt super excited imagining the various meals I could prepare with the things I saw. I could try making beer battered fish, with black sesame sauce, I could try to remake the black sesame muachee I had in Taiwan. I saw some really fresh looking fish fillets and I had the sudden urge to buy them and try marinating them in my own marinade.

Maybe I should organize a cook out with friends one day. Like we could have a picnic and we could all prepare some nice food to eat!

Chinese New Year is coming, I should think about how I want to decorate the house even though no one would be coming to visit. Sometimes remembering that no one is visiting totally demoralises you from doing any decorating. It seems really pointless. Like who is going to appreciate the work you've done and compliment your good taste and artistic skills? Your family will probably praise you for your effort, but their praising doesn't count. Family always say nice things to encourage you. But it's nice too. Perhaps I'll just do it for the sake of creating that festive mood in the house. If it brightens the house, if it could make everyone smile for the 3 days: Eve and the first 2 days of CNY, if I will feel glad that I've done something that I've been wanting to do, then I should go ahead. Otherwise I'll never do it.

Alright! I shall do it!

MCQ: Hi guys who read my blog, Tentatively I shall set our CNY date on the 14th of January. I think most people will be free that day. It shall be lunch then. Maybe we could all go squeeze with the saturday crowd and sample the goodies together, or we could just all chill somewhere or take a train down to China Town to just feel the mood. It won't be crowded though but that would mean that we will be able to walk through the entire stretch!

Looking forward to the New Year. Quite a bit of things to look forward to. Shall talk about them at a later time.

2011-12-28T20:46:00.003+08:00

Enoki Mushroom Tempura, FAIL!!!!!!!!

Lol, but it was fun pretending to be a chef, preparing the mushrooms and tempura batter. It was my first time deep frying food or even cooking using mushrooms. In fact, I haven't actually cooked before. That I did the preparation and cooking all by myself, I feel a great sense of achievement.

From the start to the end. Okay the washing wasn't really fun. Washing the mushrooms was quite interesting. Now mushrooms are really water absorbent. They soak up a lot of water. You can clean them either using a brush or by rinsing them under water. I decided to rinse the Enoki mushrooms. They soaked up so much water, I decided to wring them dry. Did it gently so as to not tear the fragile fungi. They still had a lot of water left inside. You could tell when they cackled in the wok of hot oil. Oil has a very huge reaction to water.

My Enoki Tempura looked really sad and pathetic, brown and shriveled with a lot of fried batter. You couldn't even see the mushroom.

But I think it's just the enoki which was hard to manage. If I used shitake, it would probably have been easier.

Oh well. I will try again.

2011-12-27T02:30:00.002+08:00

Kartik introduced me to the Singapore Young Photographer Award 2012.

Though I don't see my future in photography, I do want to be able to take good photographs, at least to please myself. This photography competition would definitely force me to think about the way I take pictures and I would in the process, hopefully, learn a thing or two about photography.

I don't know but before I even try, I am starting to find this a daunting task. I don't have the guts for it, in other words. I just am not confident enough I guess. What kind of photos should I take? How do I make them stand out? How do I approach people or take photographs of people without intruding their personal space?

I don't know where to start. My sister said to me that I should just take a risk and go for it. But I don't like to just 'go for it' without having a proper plan. It's just me. I have to have a reasonably good idea of what I am going to do before I act, otherwise I will feel completely lost. You know how I hate to waste time or feel like I have wasted time. I am pretty adverse to failure honestly. So going in without a proper plan is like a sure fail kind of idea.

But then again, what are the consequences of this failure. I might have wasted time, but would I be able to learn anything. It definitely forces me out of my comfort zone I suppose, that I make myself take a risk is something I haven't tried. Perhaps with this first step, I'll be able to go on and create something special. I will never know if I do not give it a shot.

Hmm. If only I had company, so at least if I do feel lost, I have somebody to talk to to pass time... ...

2011-12-26T01:08:00.001+08:00

Thank you.

We never knew all these.

Now we know

I wonder how we will be able to put you at ease next time.

2011-12-23T13:19:00.004+08:00

When you are sick, you really do not have the mood to do anything but drink water.

Prepared a cup of oolong tea for myself. Hoping it will make me feel better. Starting to like Asian teas. They are not as revoking as I used to find them. Think I have a better appetite for teas now. Maybe it is something that grows with age, kids never liked teas, I never liked them when I was a child, not even chrysanthemum. Then again, I might still not like them. After all, I am not drinking the real deal but the ones with added sugar and syrups. I remember my cup of brewed green tea in Shanghai, bad. I hope it's just green tea I have an issue with. Because Oolong and Chrysanthemum taste really nice and subtle and refreshing.

Okay my oolong is a tad too strong... need to dilute it.

Spent half the day yesterday planning for the New Year Dinner. Budgets really do stop you from innovating dishes. But it also makes you wrack your brains to think of ways to go about it, bearing in mind that I cannot compromise quality.

It's been fun planning though. Like I am forced to make sure I do research on not only cooking methods but to find out about the preparation methods, how to cut the vegetables, how to store them etc, and I have to find out if the combination of the ingredients I intend to have is suitable. And planning the time I need to cook. I haven't practiced so I really need to have good estimation of the time I will take to prepare a meal.

A lot of things to take into consideration in a meal. You want your guests to enjoy their meal and since you are the chef, pressure is on you.

Some principles to guide me when planning: To not be stingy with the proportions, to make sure that my food is served as the right temperature, to make sure that my ingredients are fresh, and since I am in charge of starters/appetizers, I must make sure that my dishes wet the appetite of my guests. Not quite easy to juggle, but manageable I guess.

Why didn't I listen to my mother when she told me to pick up cooking skills?

Anyway, I am thinking of preparing the Mezze Platter: tzatziki served with pita and crudites and a plate of vegetable tempura consisting of brinjal, mushrooms and carrots that would be served with Japanese soy sauce.

Not sure if the tempura would be light enough as an appetizer, but I know if done right it can be. I just have to make sure that the batter is done light and that I do not serve too much soy sauce.

Wanted to serve Egg Mayonnaise Bruschetta initially which is easy to prepare but Mayonnaise and Dijon mustard are really expensive. Hmm, depends again actually. I might just switch back depending on which is more suitable. Need to discuss with R.Hoe.

Rachel if you are reading this... ...HAVE YOU RECEIVED MY MAIL????????????? And are you back in SG?

I really still am looking for tools to make cocktail. If you know where I can get them or better get them for me (and if you can probably buy them for me as a gift ^^) please do let me know. I would really appreciate it.

2011-12-22T00:21:00.002+08:00

Omg I am feeling so, so touched.
Like how many people respond seriously to you on FB?????

Well, to think about it, it is difficult to treat requests on Facebook seriously. It is because of the impression users have on Facebook. It is fundamentally a social networking system, not quite a mode of communication. People tend to see posts as more of a reflection of feelings or just pourings of thoughts or a way to get attention from friends.

If you want a proper response to a genuine question, you do it through FB message application or through sms or call a friend.

I posted on Facebook, "Anyone knows where I can go to get bartending tools?" Irfan and only Irfan replied. And even his reply wasn't quite a good one, though I am thankful towards his response.

I think many people don't know where to get bartending tools either. Like how many people would you find on the street who would need such equipment?

Was late. Took a shower to refresh myself before I slept. Came back and received an sms from Juliana Mah. She asked me what sort of bartending tool I wanted, the professional kind or the basic kind.

OMG!!! AN SMS REPLY LEH!!! A GENUINE REPLY TO MY PLEA FOR HELP LEH!!

*sobs* so touching.

Juliana: Hi Ju, omg I cannot thank you enough. I know it is a small issue. But I am just thankful that, despite us being merely colleagues at flyer and I having left the company already, that you still offer to help me with such requests, I am really grateful.

It doesn't matter if I get the tools in the end. But I really like sincerity. And this epitomizes it.

2011-12-21T14:20:00.002+08:00

Oh isn't this brilliant. I'm sick again.

Like I fell ill so many times this year already. And just before Christmas I become sick again.

Like why lor.

Tsk. And then when I am sick I feel like no amount of water would be able to soothe my throat. It's like I have an undying thirst for water. If water doesn't do it for me, perhaps I should consider sucking blood soon. Singapore will have one large mosquito going around then.

Walao.

Really no mood to do anything. Yesterday still eat pasta and pizza. Double Death for my throat.

URG!! I want an apple.

2011-12-21T00:20:00.002+08:00

Even though I am 21 years old, an age where the world recognizes as an independent age where a person is assumed to be able to have the ability to make sound decisions, I am still unable to differentiate those who are good and those who are bad.

After listening to todays story, I cannot help but feel slightly afraid. Afraid that the natural sympathetic nature within every normal human being would relent to tales of pity that would affect my ability to make a proper judgement. I am afraid that I would fall into traps and have myself at the loosing end.

Friends and family have been there to warn me against these potential dangers. But if they are not there, am I able to then judge for myself? I doubt so.

So how?

And that I can't judge for myself if a person is good or not, how am I suppose to help protect and warn the people around me of the dangers that lurk?

Hmmm.

Bother, bother, bother... ...

2011-12-20T22:24:00.002+08:00

I saw this quote on my newsfeed.

"We should never bite the hand that feeds you seriously."
(Why can't we bite the hand that fed you? It never fed us. Super poor grammar ya? )

Then how about in Hansel and Gretel where the wicked witch like was force feeding hansel?

2011-12-19T21:33:00.002+08:00

"I went back to work today to have my inbox flooded with emails. Spent the whole day replying them."
"I had over a hundred emails to reply"

Sometimes I wish I was kept in a place with a well controlled idealized world. Where people are happy; where people feel that what ever they do is meaningful; where everyone is nice and kind and fun; where there is no violence; where there is freedom in the things we can do but there is order of some sort.

Scary in someways to think about living in such a world, especially if you have read books like Brave New World and The Island. But such a place could possibly be better than the one we live in.

Seriously half the time I wonder what it is that I'll do after I graduate. I'll find a job, be subjected to a lot of pressure, and be given the wage as per my contract. And I'll be experiencing the same thing for the rest of my life.

Suddenly we seem no different from robots who have been programmed to do things. I'm starting to see many similarities.

Why do we need to lead a life where we complain about the same things all day? To complain about it once or twice is enough, we ought to do something to correct the problem so that we do not face it again right? When we complain, we express our disapproval, so we need to solve it, and not continue to complain about it.

We might be animals with higher level abilities as compared to other animals in the animal kingdom. But if you think again, we are like them. We have characteristics that enable us to survive. By survive I mean to make sure we have enough to eat till the day we die.

Animals hunt or scavenge food, we don't hunt or scavenge but we earn money to buy food. Or we grow them ourselves.

Animals care for each other, we do to.

Animals repeat the routine through their life time, and well we too repeatedly work and eat and work and eat through our life time.

Our work methods may be advanced, but the reason to live and life's agenda doesn't seem to have evolved as much.

Have we actually moved on? Doesn't seem like it.

I guess it depends on each individual. I think some people have managed to attain that higher level living we all desire. They live enriched lives, doing things that they love to do, that they can make a lot of sense of. I haven't. I am still living for the sake of survival and maybe for the sake of achieving some economic goal that we all seem to be predestined to do.

I would say that life is like... ...a train track for me now. I just keep chugging down the same rail track. Occasionally changing my course but always landing at the same stations...

Nope I haven't found it yet. I'm 21 and I haven't found it yet. How much time is there left before my body starts to malfunction?

2011-12-19T02:25:00.003+08:00

My sister's Totoro is in the chair beside me. And it's staring at meh. Scary...but freaking cute.

Thought we'd bring Ron out for lunch and to watch The Muppets and have that as his Christmas present. Ron is still complaining about feeling bored at home. He's got his new Fifa 12 by the way. He's got like Fifa 10,11,12 and Fifa Street soccer or something like that and he's got Fifa soccer cards...

Young soccer fan in my house. Think my family never expected it.

I'm pretty adverse to the whole soccer mania actually, for some reason of course. It's fine that Ron likes soccer but, I just wish he'd not be so obsessed over it. Just yesterday he played Fifa 12 till 2am in the morn. I think he'd continue playing if I hadn't stopped him.

The Feng Shui person in Taiwan had even told him to cut down on his games.

Ahhh, have been feeling really tired these few days. The Taiwan trip has definitely made us all feel very tired and I think we all became a little lazy after the trip. Just imagine for 7 days we had the privilege of staying in hotels and had the luxury to wake up every morning to go to the hotel restaurant for breakfast buffet. Oh how I miss that lifestyle... ...that pampering was awesome.

Okay I better start planning for year 2012. I'll try to find a job so that I can save more money for travelling.

BTW, Japan is crazy expensive.

2011-12-18T20:49:00.001+08:00

Its time to... ... drumroll...WAGE A WAR!!!

I IS SPARTA!!!

Random.

2011-12-18T20:32:00.002+08:00

Omg, a teacher of mine just asked me to write a testimonial for her! This is so exciting. I've just completed it and I think it's totally inappropriate. Think the style is too informal for a testimonial that would be submitted for a job application.

But I gave it my best. And my best is to make sure I write about my teacher with conviction? But I think I sound too dramatic.

Now I await feedback.

2011-12-17T14:42:00.002+08:00

I'm back and feeling bored.

No mood to play games on Neopets, no mood to watch my variety shows, No mood to listen to music, no mood to go out, no mood to read... ...this is bad.

Suffering from travel withdrawals maybe.

Tsk.

Okay I need to get started on something soon. Especially my bruschetta and mediterranean platter dishes for the NY party.

Hope they reach you successfully.

2011-12-16T20:45:00.002+08:00

Anyway, lets talk about the good stuff I had in Taiwan this time round.

Breakfast Buffets and lovely hotel stays. The cartoon channels aired cartoons dubbed in Chinese. So I had my very first Spongebob Squarepants in Chinese. Was weird listening to it in another language, the theme song was also sung in Chinese. Directly translated okay. No rhyming words at the end... major lol. Had Dora in Mandarin as well.

Besides watching cartoons, my sister and I made a conscious effort every morning before breakfast to switch to the news channel to check the weather forecast. The first day was a total nightmare for the whole family. 12 degrees baby, in my soft Topshop skinnys with no thermal. Rude shock.

Ximending was good this time round. Rachel, you should try checking out Ximending again. You might view it differently second time round. The muachee stall is still there and is still fabulously awesome! Black sesame grilled muachee is 赞！

Chilled at 101 Ximending, this cafe on the second level of one of the buildings and had black sesame pasta. I'm not a fan of black sesame but it was a unique flavour on the menu and I thought I'd have a go at it. Weird but I warmed up to it and eventually liked it. Tis good to chill at a cafe at ximending be it Starbucks cafe or a themed cafe. (I suggest you do not have a meal at the stuffed toy cafe because its pretty 'stuffy')

Ah Zong Mian Xian...also awesome.

The scenery. Is still amazing. The clouds, like a long cotton wool garland wrapped round the majestic mountains of Taiwan. And its mountains everywhere and mountains as far as your eyes can see. Silhouettes of those in the distance make for a very nice Chinese water colour picture. Very picturesque country.

Oh yes, the waves. Scary. I wonder how traumatised I'd be if I ever saw a tsunami. The waves at the eastern shores of Taiwan from the pacific ocean were tall enough to frighten us. Very strong winds. But its only at that height do the waves look good.

Lovely cute thingamajigs everywhere like cute bear print masks (I appreciate their use during winter), cute kitchen mittens attached to motor bikes, cute pebbles from beaches, cute kids, colourful winter fashion, cute cafes, mantous(!!!)...too many to name. I took pictures of the cutest weirdest things I saw.

Taroko gorge is breath taking even at the bottom.

I LOVE TAIWAN...'S 7 ELEVEN!!!! Weird but true.

Crazily physical and energetic aboriginal dances. New found respect to aboriginal people. I feel unfit watching them dance.

Nice people! Love the people. Generally friendly and polite.

Like the humble vibes coming from the eateries. Didn't have the opportunity to chill in them sadly. I wish to do that when I visit taiwan...if I ever do again.

Yup, I love Taiwan!

2011-12-16T16:08:00.003+08:00

Coming back, logging into Facebook and having my news feed flooded with mass anger over the mass rapid transit isn't quite the 'welcome home' I wanted.

I've never liked cynicism; I never liked how people complain so much in this country though some of us are proud to call it second nature (I don't understand why), I just never liked it.

Despite a tiring trip in Taiwan, where it rained for 6 out of 7 days and totally dampened the mood of the trip a bit, I am very happy to have enjoyed the hospitality of the Taiwanese people. Shop keepers, stall vendors, hotel staff, passersby, they were all really friendly and polite. There was the unavoidable Ah Lians who, despite looking visibly uninterested in helping customers still made the effort to continually offer help or at the very least greet us kindly. And those sales people who tried to push to sell their items, I liked how they politely moved away when we rudely ignored or rejected them. I felt bad half the time for being rude really, but I cannot stand sales people, wherever they come from.

I liked how they are so environmentally friendly too. It's a culture there to have recycle bins made available to readily in every public area. Though less available in some parts of Taiwan, they are always, ALWAYS placed with a dustbin. I liked how they make a conscious effort to ask you if you need a plastic bag without just giving you one so readily.

This culture of theirs is why I always feel like going back to Taiwan even though there isn't quite much to see anymore.

Like how my sister puts it. You can just lepak and have fun in Taiwan.

Let's put it this way. From a tourist's perspective, I like the polite, courteous, hardworking(emphasis here), relaxing culture in Taiwan. Placed in a semi traditional setting. I really loved it. I think I can go back to relax in Taiwan for 5 days just walking down the roads taking photos, chilling at an eatery.

So definitely, coming back to read such news and the comments that are being put across that way is pretty sad ain't it?

It is frustrating to have the train experience technical problems causing disruptions and affecting all commuters. And that it has happened so frequently recently is really too much to handle. To not complain, would be weird. But we can always put it in a better way? Not sure how I should describe it nor do I have an example of how people should complain. But after reading some comments, I wish that I was back in Taiwan.

My life is secretly predicated on the responses of people. I like things to be happy and objective. Idealistic? Very.

2011-12-08T22:27:00.000+08:00

Bye bye Singapore, Hello Taiwan!!!

Again!!

But who cares!!!

>.<

2011-12-07T00:37:00.002+08:00

We ended up at Yomenya Goemon at 313. We both thought the menu looked awesome. The food was okay. It was relaxing to sit at the table in front of the kitchen. It was sort of like a Japanese sushi bar table. We sat there talking all the way. Would go back again I think to try the other pastas. Headed to Toastbox for our drink. I think we laughed damn loudly and chatted really loudly too. The 2 aunties two tables down kept looking at us. I just looked away. As they say, if you can't see them, they can't see you!

Haha.

OMG SHU EN!! WE GO HAVE TUAN YUAN FAN TOGETHER IN JANUARY!! Idea!

2011-12-05T19:24:00.002+08:00

I feel awful today. Brain officially called it quits I think. Frightened or just saturated. Didn't have the mood today. I feel like a cup of coffee. Strong. Just to give my brain that final boost to freshen up a bit.

Hmm...could just be exam stress. As I usually do. But I think sleeping at 4am makes it worse.

Dunno. Maybe its also because I am leaving for taiwan just after my exam leaving me no time to prepare proper.

Oh well..

2011-12-05T00:24:00.004+08:00

I try to find a reason for it, but I haven't quite gotten it yet. Perhaps it is not where we choose to do it but what we actually do, which actually could depend on the place as well. But last Friday, all of us dressed too casually for the place we were at was probably one of the enjoyable times I've had with the group (part of).

For me there were different moments that together formed the day. I felt unity in a certain way. Not in entirety but the parts where we did things as a group. There was also that comfort in the absence of awareness of our behaviour and appearance. That ability to have fun while maintaining reasonable discipline that wouldn't have us cross the line of appropriateness. And that silent agreement we shared. Humble situations like these do it for me sometimes.

It could also not be because of the setting or scenario but just a natural rightful occurrence as with any group of friends who have put in the effort to stick with each other for 5 years. That gradual process of becoming close to each other, understanding each other, as with a natural group of people in any sort of situation, be it social or business as I learnt in my first module. That I have worked with each of them individually, that we've experience the initial awkwardness that we didn't feel when in a group that we start to become closer. As I have realized in most cases.

Maybe soon, once we all do feel that it is time that we celebrate our many years of good friendship. But now, it isn't time, it still is visibly raw, given that there are some things that are very much unsettled.

2011-12-02T11:46:00.001+08:00

Pita Bread

Tzatziki

Kofta

Grilled Carrots(?)

2011-12-01T14:24:00.002+08:00

Skippy's Peanut Butter with Grape Jam. Is AWESOME!!!!!

It is so hard to diet sometimes. But I managed to have a bit for breakfast this morning with my pancakes. Think the peanut butter would stand out even more if it were on some simple Gardenia Toast WITH BUTTER!!!!!!! OMG SINFUL TTM!!!

Really thankful that my mom showed me so many fun ways of eating bread. Bread with butter and sugar, bread with butter and peanut butter, bread with butter and bananas, bread with a whole lot of other rubbish like luncheon meat, corned beef, capers, etc etc.

^^. Oooh I need to find a day where I can really enjoy a good breakfast toast.

2011-11-30T20:47:00.002+08:00

I was at the Yakun at NEX studying F6 Tax module, while Ron was away walking around. A group of 4 ladies, 4 teens and an adult who entered. After awhile the eldest of the teens came to the table.

"Hi, um I'm Rachel. My friends are doing this treasure game thing and from the description (shows me a piece of paper) you are sort of the treasure. Girl studying, with specs..."

I was weary of this sort of thing. She definitely doesn't seem like a fraudster or up to no good. But I kept on guard. I returned the greeting.

"So uh can I pray for you? For anything that you...probably are worried about or that is in your heart?"

Ah, church. No I'm not against people who go to church, but I am skeptical about their intentions when they approach people. No nothing bad, just...I know that some of them try to get people to go to their church. And I have never approved of that. But anyway a prayer for me seemed very harmless.

"So what can I pray for you?"

I replied, "Well, you can pray that I pass my exam which I am sitting for next week." I smiled nodding towards my lecture notes on the table infront.

"Haha, okay, I will pray for you then."

She started to pray. I listened politely. Couldn't catch the entire prayer but I caught some bits of it. "Pray for wisdom...that she understands her notes...for calm during the exam that she remembers the things she's studied..." Oh yea, I do need to remember what I've studied. I welcomed the prayer.

"Okay thank you for letting me pray for you. I'm actually from Paya Lebar Methodist Church. And the church is around the area, so you can...drop by if you want :)"

I thanked her and she left the table. You see...now I was really quite suspicious about their intention. But it could be that there was no intention to really pull me into church but since she did this treasure-pray thing that she introduced her church at the same time.

They had their toast and kopi and left the shop but came round me to say goodbye. She handed me her prayer written on a piece of paper. The adult with them then started to ask me. Guards up again.

"Are you into Business and Finance?"

I figured that the girl must have mentioned it to her.

"Um, kind of...I'm not sure but I surely will be doing that since...I am studying something related." I looked at my book.

"I see, because when I looked at you I see that you will make lots of money next time. I also see that you are somebody who knows how to get people to do things..." She said some stuff along the lines of that. Then she continued.

"So can I say another prayer for you that I hope that this vision will be true and that you will be in Gods mind?"

Another prayer eh? Okay, its suppose to be good right?

So another prayer it was for my exams and my future.

They left.

What am I to make of such randomness in at a coffee place at some corner of the mall where so much was exchanged?

It was nice to have had them pray for me. Nice to have listened to good words about me. But I'm sorry, I don't think I can quite believe what had been said. Not with the whole church thing going on. Perhaps if you didn't introduce yourselves being from church, I might have been more welcoming to the gesture.

2011-11-30T01:11:00.002+08:00

I can't believe that I'll be flying off next week. I feel rushed, don't really have time to prepare for the trip. Don't think I have enough clothes to bring...

Things that have been accompanying me during pre-exam period:

1. Coldplay

2. Soy Milk

3. Kopi

4. Pilot Pink Pen

5. And a brain that allows me to stay up till 3am (3am in the morning - eminem) to cram because I napped too long in the afternoon.

Thank you for keeping me company and helping me to 'Re' Focus when my mind drifts away, like wots happening now...

2011-11-28T21:11:00.002+08:00

I hate it when I am being ignored. Who likes it?

When somebody ignores you, it means that they don't want to answer your question. It means they think that your question is stupid. That isn't a good sign is it?

Say you claim you didn't here my question, so you couldn't answer. Then how come you didn't tell me to repeat my questions? The fact that when I called you, and that you turned to look at me, and that you were not interrupted when I was asking my question. You know for a fact that I was telling you something or was trying to tell you something. Logically you would respond. Either a negative response indicating that you couldn't hear me or understand me or a positive response indicating that you did understand what I have told you. That there wasn't one. Then there are 2 possible reasons. One, you are so full of yourself that you don't care or bother about anyone else but yourself. As long as you get attention, everything else is insignificant to you. If you deny being that sort of person then well you must be the second. You must have some sort of psychological disorder, to not be able to respond appropriately.

That is quite sad I think.

2011-11-28T02:56:00.002+08:00

It's quite unbelievable, that the 'end' is near! In this case, it isn't quite negative. It could be if after I enter the exam hall exit looking dazed with no soul in my eyes (then you know I screwed my hopes of passing my modules.)

Coldplay has been accompanying me through this period. I like compiled a playlist of only their songs and keep running them as I study (Only one album of theirs left not added in.) Their one of my favourite bands now officially, kicking stereophonics out (I kinda got damn sian of stereophonics quite a long time ago, made way for all the Kpop bands. The Beatles is still my fave though.)

Hmmm...

Nothing much to think about. Dared not to think much about anything else though, I worry that I squeeze what I learn out my brain. Hmm..

Do yall have...something that you are really fearful of? That you refuse to think about or try to really forget?

2011-11-26T21:50:00.003+08:00

YES I WANT TO BAKE AND COOK AND PREPARE FOOD FOR A PARTY!!!

Maybe it comes with age but I have become more interested in cooking recently. I went jogging yesterday and decided to go relax at NTUC after that. Like to stare at the food on the shelves, thinking about recipes, wondering when I would be able to buy them to whip up some dish.

Rachel Hoe: OMG CAN WE REALLY PREPARE A CHRISTMAS/NEW YEAR PARTY DINNER??

So eggciting~!

Sick...a week before my exams...worse...a week before my trip. I hope I recover in time to enjoy my tour. Or I'll be an awfully moody girl in Taiwan.

2011-11-25T01:32:00.003+08:00

To Do List (post exam stuff):

1. Prepare to make my CNY decorations

2. Read a classic Story

3. Shop CNY clothing

4. Register for Class next sem

5. Wish that I can eat at Wasabitei

6. Bake some Ginger Bread Man.

7. Relac one corner in a cafe.

2011-11-24T21:52:00.003+08:00

So I fell down today despite being extra careful in my cheap Non-slip proof $5 slippers therefore giving my mother the opportunity to thrash me.

Was sheltering my bro on our way home from Hougang Mall and all of a sudden, I just slipped.

Major ouch.

Almost twisted my ankle and got a minor abrasion on my right knee. Was hoping that all I got was some red sore but well the inevitable happened - my knee started to bleed. Ron kindly suggested that I take the lift.

I got a shock that I fell actually. I haven't had a fall since secondary school. Tripped and received my second major scar. Then I hadn't fallen. As much as it hurts when you get an abrasion it wasn't the injury that shocks me, its the process of falling. It isn't because it is embarrassing, but its the sudden drop, a moment of vulnerability. It is what happens in that split second that I don't like. That fear of getting injured. And that explains why I was frantically checking if I was bleeding.

Ah, I think I know what it is that I don't like. The pain yes, the injury yes but most importantly the scar. The scar that marks the permanent damage to the original condition of your body.

It's an idiosyncrasy of mine, the obsession with maintenance of the original condition of things. It's one reason why I don't get a tattoo, one reason why I don't like to add extra embellishments to my phone and laptop, the reason why I don't like to make alterations to my clothes, the list goes on.

I do admire how things can look nice after adding things to them or changing them to make something new. But I just cannot bring myself to do it to my things. I can do it to yours, just not mine. Because it ultimately becomes permanent and I will miss the old condition because the original looks good too. How I will miss my skin as it was before if I had a tattoo done. How I'd miss the original condition of my hair if I dyed it (Dyeing your hair dries it out. Yes it grows but it damages the skin around and the roots. And I am very proud of my hair colour for the record.)

Yea my skin is burning right now. Fingers crossed that my knee will heal fast and have new nice skin grow back soon.

2011-11-23T22:19:00.002+08:00

To... ...

Education is very important. It is important that we learn; to gain knowledge because this knowledge is key to our happiness.

I like to see education as a personal interest one appreciates as a person who values the beauty and virtue within the process rather then an obligation of the modern society. Advance and advancing societies all recognize the need for the provision of education to their people, that this is the answer to the success of the country; the economy. I think that this bigger goal has clouded the very humble meaning behind education. We need to re explore what it means to learn.

I'm born in the era where the education system had already been well established and set up, I have been through the primary, secondary and tertiary stages of education. I am in the tertiary stage now. Yet it is only now that I start to understand the importance of education.

It is quite late to have realized only now in my opinion. For the years foregone as I blindly studied for examinations, passing them and proceeding to what I saw as 'the next level' I only new is importance as that - the need to move on to the next level. Maths, Science, English, Chinese, History, Geography etc. They were merely compulsory subjects for me to move on. The wonders of science and the arts? I could not comprehend more then its given definition.

If only I realized how important these subjects were as an area of study rather than as an important requirement to move on, so much I would have experienced and appreciated, how much more I would have grown as a person who loves life if I understood it all in the early stages of my education.

As much as I am responsible for my own education, being intellectually sober in secondary school. I was still an adolescent. I needed guidance, a person who could guide me and show me the greater beauty of learning than it's economic purpose. I didn't receive that guidance. I remember reading the Principal's message in the school's year book and remembering the words, "Holistic Education". For awhile now we've been emphasizing on the need to study 'out of the textbook'. Despite this, it seems that no one really understands what it means. Up till now we are still heavily reliant on textbooks, we only study the few subjects in the curriculum.

Once again, we should really re explore the definitely of education, more humbly put, learning. To learn because we are born as people with a curious mind, who value happiness and the beauty of life.

Understanding the unavoidable need to recognize the importance of education to fuel the economy, the need for the subjects that we have in place in the system, I suggest that the change be in the approach towards education. The content is there but the introduction of the subjects needs a bit of a look through. Most of the time teachers while intending to educate, find themselves struggling with the need to finish the syllabus. With the schools goals to become value added, less time and thought is spent on imparting the values of the very subject.

End of Part One.

2011-11-23T22:08:00.002+08:00

In response...

I think everyone doesn't understand a lot of things that go on in this society; up and down.

Each only comprehending the circumstances that surround them.

It's a failure in the attempt at transparency.

If only we understood more,

Perhaps a better grasp of the whole picture?

Open discussions? Free transaction of ideas and knowledge?

Are we too selfish to want to engage in that?

Then again life as it is in its simplest mechanism works in a very interesting way.

As analysts like to demonstrate in a graph.

Fluctuations as we observe from it.

There's always a feedback mechanism.

We have never maintained balance

But it will work out.

2011-11-23T19:45:00.002+08:00

Soup Spoon's Spanish Chicken with Olives and Veggies is awesome! It's appetizing, how I like my soups generally, that tang with a bit of spice. Actually, I like any tasty soup. Had just the soup with a whole meal bun that they serve with every bowl of soup. That alone was filling. No need for an extra half a salad or sandwich.

If possible, it would be great if I could sit at the restaurant for a longer period of time to savour their soup. Always feel that I am rushed, especially when I am alone and have no one to chat with, I finish my soup faster, I practically just bring spoonfuls of soup to my mouth continuously. Very difficult to pause when you are eating something delicious.

Was at Vivocity with intentions to study out at a cafe. I thought I'd have a cheaper bite at pacific cafe and ordered a veg pie to realize (to my horror) that the pie was stuffed with bits of potato. You know how cautious I am with what I eat. Ate half the pie and stopped and was left feeling cheated and very disturbed by the fact that I didn't have a good snack. That I was also feeling awfully sleepy, I couldn't concentrate on my revision. I thought that I should really leave pacific coffee for toast box to get a good cup of Kopi before I become unhappier. And that is what I did. I shifted to the toastbox at the basement.

New lesson today, always visit a popular cafe during non peak hours. You'll definitely find seats. At 1pm coffee bean had plenty of seats available, toast box was still packed. Thought I'd shop for a bit and later headed back to toast box. At last. A nice cup of coffee and 2 whole fruitful hours there.

I sat there being very weary about myself being quite a disturbance to the business. The only student there who daringly whips out her notes to study. I don't see why I am not allowed to when there are people who sit long hours chatting away despite having finished their drink within the first 15 minutes of their chit chat session. No one chased me away or politely told me that I wasn't allowed to study. So my worries soon wore off.

It must be because of the table I was sitting at. I occupied the first table of 3 tables that were joined together and pushed against the wall. I chose to sit at the outer most table of course that permitted more leg room. It is a squeeze to sit inside. And the stools were, often taken away by the table behind. Customers like a comfortable cosy private corner, no matter how close each table was to each other. That row of tables I sat at was not ideal, but there were people who came who wanted to sit there but eventually shifted seats because of the discomfort.

And those who came, they all saw me study, sitting quietly staring at my notes (and occasionally glancing into space). It was to my surprise that every person who came over to the table was interestingly polite. They thought they were disturbing me and apologised for their presence with a really nice smile. I was actually not the least bit disturbed. In the first place, I felt that I was the obstruction. But I felt the kindness and politeness of these people and was quite thankful to have had such an experience.

Perhaps it was because of how still and concentrated I seemed, sitting there trying to occupy as little space as possible, hoping to not be an obstruction. That is the last thing that I want to be, an obstruction.

If it wasn't because of the crowded unpopular option of toastbox and yakun as a study cafe, I'd definitely head there for a quiet study session. $1.50 always beats a $6.00 cappuccino. I could always get a toast too.

Oh yes, Teadot's Earl Grey Latte is pretty good. The tea's fragrance penetrates the thick milk. Oh the milk is really fragrant too. Just go to Nex's outlet and chill for a bit with a cuppa. You'd have the beautiful silky smell of tea or steamed milk waft pass. Mmmm~

2011-11-22T12:35:00.002+08:00

It's a wonderful feeling to have your suggestion considered and better to receive a really positive feedback about it. It's an acknowledgement.

Thought I'd make a suggestion/request to Soup Spoon. Was hoping for an interesting CNY soup come next January. I realised later that their subsidiary co. Soup Broth Asia had some Chinese/Oriental soup featured. That I didn't receive a reply as quickly as I had hoped, I had prepared myself for a less positive reply, something along the lines of,

"Hi, thank you for the suggestion. Yes, a soup for CNY is a definitely must. We do offer some soups at Soup Broth Asia that you could try though. Our latest offer being the Hainanese Fish Maw Soup... ..."

But today, that I have received the reply. I feel happy. My letter has been read, it's been considered and I will be having a CNY special in January!! Hope I can drag my family to Soup Spoon for a meal. I'm quite tired of going to Ikea for Lunch. It's a great place, but to go there every CNY?

IMMA SOUP SPOONZ FAN!!

Yay (and a big big smile).

2011-11-22T01:56:00.002+08:00

STOP AND STARE~

AT THE COCKROACH THAT IS OVER THERE

I DEFINITELY HAD ONE GOOD SCARE

SEE A COCKROACH THAT'S SO BIG

AH AH AHHHHH~

It was really huge O.O! Are cockroaches evolving!?!

Anyway the fly in my room is really annoying. And I saw a lizard in the toilet.

Why is my house infested with insects?

2011-11-20T23:17:00.002+08:00

Worries of an Elder Sister

Sometimes I think that it's a good thing that I have a brother who is slightly more mature than kids his age, and that I still have that kid in me. It makes conversing with my brother easier.

I managed to have a conversation with him just awhile ago while he trained his human character in his FIFA 2011 Xbox soccer game. Was quite glad that he was willing to entertain me while I disturb his game. In fact he paused his game to chat.

Poor boy, he's feeling bored being stuck at home playing Xbox all day. He really wants to get out of the house to do something different for a change.

Discussed simple topics, asked him about school and friends, talked to him about plans for the hols.

How often do you get a kid who bothers to sit with you to talk to you about things like these?

Having spoken to my brother today, I think I've learnt more about him. I can finally put my mind to ease about certain worries I had previously.

2011-11-19T00:40:00.009+08:00

Went shopping with Fiona for materials for her birthday guest book. It was very distracting. So many pretty things every step we took. And, it has got me into the mood to make something.

Maybe I shall attempt to decorate and prep my house for Chinese New Year 2012.

Usually we go out to buy decorations that are on sale in Chinatown or at any store we pass by. Mommy doesn't quite like them anymore. She finds them awfully boring. They are. But we get them anyway in hope to just brighten the house for the festival. It is after all Chinese New Year. Its the time to put in the effort often lacking every other day to make the house look happier.

Ideas have been flooding my brain bank since a while ago. I can't wait to go back to the craft store for more inspiration. I still feel that I am being held back from going for it. Lack of confidence? Lack of money? That inner practical person? Don't know but I hope this energy doesn't die off. I need to keep myself enthusiastic and excited so that I eventually achieve the goal. Procrastination is bad!

Anyway. I'd frame up something for the wall somewhere.

1. Thin red frame.

2. glittery white paper

3. Patterned paper to layer

4. Floral paper cuttings?

hmmm...

Anyway, Fashion time!!

Black Flower Peep Toe Glitter Wedge

Beige Floral Print Metallic Sleeveless Shirt

Black one Shoulder Belted Grecian Dress

Beige Owl Mittens

Black Floral Print Sleeveless Swing Dress

2011-11-16T21:10:00.006+08:00

Exam Blues...

So sorry but we have once again entered a really suffocating period (if you've realised from my super emo sounding posts of late.). We are not really studying, we in fact spend a fair amount of time playing but we know that we are not supposed to and therefore we do not enjoy freedom in that sense.

It doesn't help that I am sitting in my room, air conditioning switched off, doors and windows shut. How can you not feel dreary?

Feel like going for a run, but at 9.13pm, I don't want to risk meeting with trouble. Maybe after Ron's done with soccer I'll play one of the Kinect games to just get my engine kicking again. It's spouting smog now, very bad case of combustion.

Tsk, damn sian. Have to constantly think of ways to motivate myself. Either that or I guilt trick myself into studying. It works but I have to constantly do it because I loose concentration pretty quickly. Impatience probably. How I wish I can finish my revision in a zap and sit for the exams and just end my sufferings.

My boredom has reached the extent where all I think of is the next meal of the day. I cannot stop thinking about food. For those who binge eat because of stress, it's normal. Dr. Oz says its a result of hormones that are produced that make you feel hungry. Mine is not because of stress though, it is different. For me, thinking about food entertains me and is something away from studies.

It is the emptiness all students feel during the exam period (except for nerds and geeks. I look like one but I am not.) Empty stomach, empty brains, empty souls. All liken zombies during this season.

Anyone up for Twelve Cupcakes? Heard their Baileys flavoured cupcake is good. Well, anything with Baileys is good.

2011-11-15T23:06:00.002+08:00

I never thought I'd ever say this in my entire life but I actually find the internet boring.

Devoid of news or news that is fresh and entertaining, devoid of entertainment... ... devoid of juicy gossips... ...

Never thought I'd wish for a book in front of me more than the computer.

And the funniest thing is, I never stop logging in! Hah!

I need to get a life.

2011-11-15T18:15:00.003+08:00

I can't get enough of soups!!!!!!!!

Okay I am an official fan of the Soup Spoon! I'm looking at Soup Broth Asia's menu too. Had a bowl of soup from SBA once, wasn't very impressed but I hope to be impressed on a second visit. The menu looks awesome. The Chilli Soft Shell Crab side dish looks delicious too.

When will I go back for more soup?

2011-11-14T21:16:00.003+08:00

Rained hard in Singapore today. Monsoon season I think? Not sure, did horribly for Geography.

Had a quiet time at Starbucks Terminal 2 studying Audit and Assurance. Time out of the house to study was what I really needed. Even if it was for a mere 3 hours at the cafe. Next time, I'll be at my school's library or at a cheaper place. I cannot afford anymore gourmet coffee.

By the way, Starbucks coffee isn't fantastic. If you find your cup of Starbucks tasty, its probably because they loaded it with a lot of syrup. And you probably got a Frapp. I drink cappuccino and thus no syrup and I taste more of the coffee than a latte because all the milk is in the foam. Nope the coffee is horrible. It is horribly bland. Maybe the cappuccinos I've tasted have been spiked with syrup so I think theirs is terrible. But assuming Pacific Coffee Co got their cappuccino right, then there is definitely something weird about Starbucks'. Going to Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf next time.

Was just thinking about some crafting ideas for the hols. Thought I could buy some pebbles from a craft store and paint them bright red and paint pretty little flowers on them. I could add gold glitter in the red paint and paint the pebbles and have Chinese wishes written on the pebbles and use them to decorate the dining table this coming CNY :D

Weeeeeeee. I've got things to do after my exams!

2011-11-13T22:57:00.003+08:00

Everyone liked the cake. The carrot sponge was dense and heavy enough and had a good crumb texture. The butter cream was tasty and it was good that they didn't pile so much cream on the cake, allowing the carroty flavour of the sponge to come through. The walnuts were huge. Gave me a bit of a scare at first - they were perfect on the cake.

8 inch, double layer carrot cake, for $43.80, it is quite worth the price.

Another good review for Cedele's Carrot Walnut cake.

Next cake...Cedele's Chocolate Truffle cake? Or Red Velvet?

Catching Tin Tin next week. I heard that it's pretty good. From Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson?! Cummon lor.

Hope to be able to see the Titanic exhibition soon.

Su Xin: Don't forget our MBS excursion.

2011-11-12T01:53:00.002+08:00

I am feeling pretty anxious and excited for the programme later in the day. It's Pa's birthday. Nothing fancy planned actually. Its just a simple dinner and cake at night.

But that I chose the restaurant we will be dining in tonight, bearing in mind what Pa would like to have and sparing some thought for the fussy eaters in the house. And picked the cake which I think looks awesome and I heard is.

Honestly, it has always been tricky to find out what people like so I can get them the perfect present that will make them happy. I always think that I am the easiest person to satisfy. Like I love so many things such that you could pick almost any pretty, colourful item and I'd be so happy to have it. Okay maybe I do not like every single thing. I love pretty and colourful things but I also like them to be stylish and practical.

I always rack my brains when it comes to gifts. I circle Orchard Road and Somerset like an eagle in search for its prey but end up going home empty handed and bitter and dejected.

Pa and Mommy's birthday are probably the most pressurizing. Ma is ultra fussy and Pa is ultra not fussy. Ma wants something practical and of good quality and that is really nice. Pa is fine with anything... ...

I know Pa likes to try new stuff. He's always suggesting we try out new hawker centres or activities to do only to have his suggestions rejected by the fussy people in the household. Fussy people like to stick to things that they like and therefore like a limited range of things. Dad has been accomodating. But now that I take charge in choosing the place and cake. I DECIDE! Of course I have to take into consideration other factors like price and location. Wherever the place, it has to be one that everyone is satisfied with, not just my dad. Afterall, he would rather have everyone happy than just himself.

So in my selection of the restaurant, I totally ruled out American dining, Japanese and Chinese food. I have decided on Medzs at Orchard central. It is western but it has mediterranean food which is something my dad mentioned about before. Picked out a carrot walnut cake from Cedele. Usually the cakes we've had are chocolate based or cheese cakes because my bro prefers those. No my bro doesn't request so, my parents just discuss and decide on them because they know my brother likes it. Ron's a nice kid. He doesn't request for things but you know if he likes it a not and my parents accommodate their children, okay they accommodate my brother. My sister and I are old enough to give in to my parents. Besides we are fine with anything.

I hope the family would like dinner and the cake. Hope my dad, especially, would be really satisfied. Fingers crossed.

2011-11-11T21:47:00.001+08:00

Date: 11.11.11

Saw a red moon

Saw leashed rabbit

Managed to shop decently around H&M (their clothes are still not impressive)

Wow :)

2011-11-09T21:45:00.002+08:00

When will I ever know how to balance exercise and eating? Sigh.

Was 'studying' TWG's menu awhile ago. I will never stop to be amazed by their exquisite looking cafe and fine, chi chi packaging. I'm a sucker for colours and lovely designs, how's that for an answer.

The Wellness Group. Cheesy name but they manage to cover it well, marketing themselves as TWG. Also, WHO CARES ABOUT THEIR NAME WHEN THEY'VE GOT SUCH A DELIGHTFUL VARIETY OF TEAS!! And their menu is looking really charming.

I've got a few haunts after a stressful or boring afternoon where I take a slow stroll round the place to soak in the atmosphere. MBS is one of them, when I am nearby that is. I always pause at their TWG cafes. They've got 3 of them now. The Garden, The Bridge and another boutique outlet. I always walk pass them but never got to step inside to try their teas.

I'm not a fan of teas yet. I'm trying to be a coffee and wine aficionado at the moment. Teas might be my next target. Or maybe its just one of the ways I try to get myself into that high life.

Anyway. I really want to try their food one day, no matter how ridiculous their price looks like. I cannot keep sticking to gong cha and toast box and yakun. Its not that I will leave them forever, I just want to try something new, for a change.

Oh yea, I've been craving for sandwiches. Always liked them though. very refreshing, not greasy, healthy (if you pass the mayo and cream cheese spread.) And always very filling.

Haaahhh~ after my exams I guess. Anyone care to join me?

2011-11-05T14:51:00.002+08:00

I think everyone does what everyone else thinks everyone else thinks is cool.

You got that right. No typo in that sentence.

2011-11-05T11:17:00.002+08:00

I don't mean to discriminate but please, if you are hiring foreigners to do a job that requires them to speak to customers, could you at the very least make sure that they can speak decent English? I had to repeat myself 3 times and the missy still didn't understand a word I said. Which part of, "Is your restaurant busy on Saturday evenings." difficult to understand?

I really wanted to ask her to get me someone who could speak English.

It is not a problem if you don't know how to speak English. But look, you are doing a front line job? Isn't it in your job scope?

2011-11-02T22:26:00.002+08:00

Honestly, who gives a sh*t?

2011-10-27T14:55:00.003+08:00

Concerns of an Older Sister

The Primary School SAs have commenced and are actually through to the middle. Looking at how my brother frantically tries to juggle school work, tuition work and assessments we try to give him. I can't help but feel bad for him.

It is a ridiculous amount of work to do just before your math exam. Math homework to be submitted tomorrow; Chinese tuition homework also to be covered by the tuition teacher who is coming tomorrow (Chinese exam is on Monday). I regret the problems of disorganized planning that put my brother under stress. Last minute work never worked.

Why does he need to submit math homework tomorrow? Why is he rushed to finish Chinese tuition work today when maths is tomorrow? How do we prioritize life? Is it really that important to complete the homeworks now? Or is it more important to revise work?

I am not saying that the assessment we give my brother should be done. Whatever work he is given, it should help him overcome tomorrows paper as best as possible? It isn't the PSLE so no pressure to do exceptionally well yet, no streaming into P6. It should be the longer term focus of getting some misconceptions right and recollection into the formulas that would work at the eleventh hour.

Basics and concepts won't seep into the brain at this point of time.

Neither does piling work on to him. You need to be able to focus to do well. With the focus turned towards completing the work rather than learning the skills, we are definitely out of focus. That's what we are. Out of focus.

Now it is a little too late to rectify plans. But from after the exams. It would be long term focus. We have to quickly redefine homework and learning. What is important. Obviously the PSLE is important but the essence of scoring in the PSLE is not about passing another exam.

The main purpose of having an exam has been lost long time ago. It is essentially a test to see how much you have understood and from there identify your weaknesses so that you can improve. The exams have been wrongfully thought of, given a new interpretation by modern, competitive parents who live by pride, ego, and honour. 'For your own good', a phrase hung loosely on the tongue, a disgrace to hear.

Seeing how the world evolves to gradually loose the meaning of life is scary and like any parent, a sister too cares for her own brother. She'd protect him, though occasionally a little unreasonably, and want to guide him to live a life more fulfilling and be able to give him any help so he desires that would ultimately make him a happy man, living honestly and humanely.

And that includes making sure that he doesn't get bitten by the greedy, competition obsessed zombies - that he doesn't walk like a zombie, walking aimlessly around till he eventually dies (Yes I know zombies are living dead so they can't die. Screw fiction.)

And screwed is the word for attempting to give help. Often it ends in a whole lot of mess. Anxious hearts drive us into desperation. We cannot stand and leave a man to die, but if we don't know how to help him, our efforts might just kill him. Will kill him.

Isn't that us? That dying man (and woman) our parents try to save?

Alas, I can only sit and watch and do nothing but worry and worry and worry.

2011-10-26T22:20:00.004+08:00

EXAM PERIOD!!

You know its on when...

1. You find that you are experiencing an ultimate social low.

2. When your friends frequently mentions about an upcoming test.

3. You just know it! Because its the period is quite standard... ...SOO, based on past experience, YOU JUST FEEL IT!

You can just feel it in your bones~~

Yup exams are coming and I am also studying harder these days. Harderrrr... ... Far from the confidence level I need before marching into the exam hall like a storm trooper geared with my pens, rulers and calculator, but I'm working on it. And soon on the 6th of December, I will be.

TED frequently updates me about their recent talks and web videos. I watched one yesterday by Iain McGilchrist on The Divided Brain - there isn't as we all think a left brainer and a right brainer folks.

Yes, we have a left and right brain and yes they are kinda separate but we don't have the 2 character type. We all need both our left and right brains to be able to be able to imagine and need both for reasoning. They do perform separate functions but they don't make you more of a creative person or a person who rules by logic.

Here's the video. I think you'll find it entertaining. The cartoons look awesome.

Iain McGilchrist: The divided brain | Video on TED.com

And it is from this video that I stumbled upon the Machiavellian and Erasmian theories. Super confusing looking words. But you see, anything that looks or sounds confusing is of interest to me :) I've even taken the MACH-IV test to see how well (or badly) I scored; 58 :) But you can't count on it.

Ah the smell of Peanut Butter Nutella Cookies waft into my room, what sumptuous pleasure to have it fill this space. Mmm ^^

2011-10-25T23:16:00.001+08:00

I think this is bloody awesome :)

"Golden Tree" by Martin Brooks from Ninian Doff on Vimeo.

Now if only I knew how to balance on the bike while doing them... ...

2011-10-22T23:01:00.002+08:00

Costa Rica Coffee? Okay...I think its just me. I ruined it...too much coffee powder.

First day volunteering at the SG Writer's Fest (tomorrow's my last). The other volunteer who was supposed to help me, a teacher at MINDS. Omg...totally didn't help me okay. He just kept talking to the security guards. Not that it was wrong, but he only asked people to see the exhibit and didn't bother to explain to them about it or how to go about understanding it. He still had the cheek to tell me that he will pull guests to the exhibit.

Its a museum for goodness sake, could you please exercise a bit of sophistication? We aren't doing business you know. As much as we would like to have more guests look at the exhibit, we don't stand by the door to pull them. We greet them and offer if they walk pass. And there he was walking like a security guard, he didn't even bother to help make sure that the exhibit was well arranged. There were papers that were part of the exhibit and fans all around the periphery of the Chapel of SAM to make the papers swirl. But the papers kept flying to the sides. We were suppose to help move them to the middle occasionally. That man just took more papers to throw around and didn't even bother to help put them in the middle. AND HE SAYS HE WENT FOR THE BRIEFING! LIKE IS HE DAFT OR IS HE DAFT???? Nothing against teachers from MINDS, I was just describing him. But this fellow?????????

I was really pissed standing there. Luckily time passed pretty quickly thought there weren't many visitors around the museum in the morning.

I know its volunteer work. But please, take pride in whatever you choose to do. If not, don't volunteer. You'l just piss everyone around you with that negligent attitude.

Anyway, go down to SAM's chapel to have a look at Donna Ong's 'Witness'. A response to the Japan Tsunami. It's pretty good; a multi-sensory art installation. There are some other free programmes for everyone too if you cannot afford those that require the Fest Pass. Something to take your mind off the next week.

2011-10-20T21:31:00.002+08:00

I know this sounds awfully cliche, but I'm feeling a little empty right now. Yes it was aggravated a little by something unrelated but irregardless.

A lot of negativity inside. Nothing about doubting myself, don't worry. Then again, maybe its something to worry about since it is negativity about everything else. Hmm. Like how temporary things seem like. How its all so volatile and that if you want to keep things more or less the same you have to put in so much effort to keep it that way or nobody is going to care. Sometimes independence in that sense makes life so much easier. Because you don't have an attachment to anything and so no one can really judge you too much. But when it comes to needing emotional help, then nobody will be there to help you either. Actually, no even when there is dependence you don't get much help either. It doesn't quite make a difference. So independence is good.

It is lonely sometimes. That is when money comes in handy, because you can then entertain yourself with whatever you wish for.

Hmm. Don't you agree. Like when you think about it... ...how come it isn't there when you think that it kinda should be... ...

Independence from things will not cause depressive thoughts too. There is nothing to worry or be sad over you will always be happy because your happiness did not require responses. It wholly depended on your response. So you dictate it without need to consider others at all.

Its freedom I would say.

Hmm. Its time we all tried to preset ourselves to that state so we can all derive more happiness.

2011-10-20T21:25:00.002+08:00

I know I was wrong, but you were wrong too. There was nothing wrong with what you said but when you said it. The priority wasn't right. Like its total disregard. I do think the order is important. I'm sorry if that bothers you or if it sounds illogical. But it makes perfect sense to me.

I think half of disagreements between people is a result of this seemingly subtle issue of the respondent missing the point. Material or not, it came as a package.

I don't need another F word in my life.

2011-10-20T18:22:00.002+08:00

Conversations

Had sandwich for lunch today and were picking up the crumbs on the floor and table.

Aunty Amy: Why you eat until like that ar? All over the place.

Ron: That's my eating style! To eat messily!

Nice one Ron. Sometimes it doesn't matter how you eat, as long as you enjoy it. Its, a way of appreciating it.

2011-10-18T15:35:00.002+08:00

I saw some lady with Angry Birds pedicure. Like all 5 birds were painted on her toe nails. Lol

Mom, Ron and I are catching Martha Stewart at home right now. We caught yesterday's episode too and it featured sandwiches. really delicious looking sandwiches and now all of us crave for it. Its not your normal simple triangular ham and cheese or tuna or egg mayo type. Those we are not interested in. Its the kind with salmon or poached eggs with dill or spinach and avocados and sauteed mushrooms and other really savory ingredients that really tempt the taste buds. OMG...

And for me, some not so popular ingredients, hummus, olives, some other spreads (the lot you find at Cold Storage). A roast duck sandwich sounds good too.

Ahhhhh...I'm feeling hungry already.

2011-10-16T23:19:00.002+08:00

One nice shot of them and they never did come back looking quite the same.

I MURDERED MY DUMPLINGS!!

All that starch and water made them stick to the metal plate. The dumpling skins tore and I sent myself into a mad rage. I was really pissed. I hate it when things go wrong when I least expect it. Mom and dad were trying to pacify me with words of encouragement. Let's just say that I was quite ready to throw a table down from house, or throw the plate of dumplings as far out of the house as possible.

So mommy and I went into a frantic panic to try to save the dumplings by wrapping them in what little dumpling skin we had left while managing those that I had already put into the saucepan before the problem came. It was a terrible juggling act we had to perform. Mommy stayed really optimistic trying to smile. I couldn't. It felt as if the whole world came crashing down on me. I caused this mess and I was really wanting to start all over again at that point. To actually go buy the mince pork and the other ingredients to remake the dumplings.

Sigh. Pa keeps saying that if we never try we never know. Yar, but I like my first times to be relatively successful. I don't mind if the dumplings tasted weird, but ruining the dumpling's form is unacceptable.

I need to wait for 2 weeks before I can try making dumplings again. This time round, no more sticking to plates! And also nicer folds.

The St Nicholas Primary Science paper is pretty challenging. Lots of concepts being enforced, that I'd miss out.

Hmm.

2011-10-16T14:20:00.005+08:00

It is a possibility that the feminist movement was partially because the women folk then got really fed up with having to prepare meals for their really fussy and grumpy husbands.

I decided to have a try at cooking. Since it was my first time, Mommy decided to guide me all the way and actually ended up doing most of the cooking. I did the preparation of the ingredients and was left to do the Chinese Dumplings, which was my main focus of all the other dishes.

Its really tiring to prepare the ingredients. Cooking the food is just the tip of the ice-berg of the entire process. Really. I wonder how haus wives (Haus = house. Its a german/danish spelling? Yar but its so cool.) tolerate all the pain, literally, chopping and cutting, standing at the kitchen looking through the window sill, looking across to look at...well in the past it might be vast meadows, now its tall oblong concrete flats.

Satisfying as some cooks call it; absolutely therapeutic they say. Yes if you are preparing a meal that you planned so carefully to impress either yourself or your guests or simply because you are experimenting with new ingredients or a new cooking method or a new recipe as I did with preparing the dumplings and being really focused on learning. But if you are preparing a meal you've prepared tens of times for people who don't really care about what you cook. There isn't much satisfaction to derive there. And it gets really annoying.

Lets put it this way, even chefs don't cook all the time.

Now I truly understand when ladies say they really want a husband who can cook. Or actually a husband who helps out with the household chores.

Problems aside, cooking is definitely a very fun process. Firstly it is a break from school and also for me, a break from the computer. The reason why I browse the web so obsessively is because I am bored of everything else there is for me to do. I could just put my com aside and practice cooking or do something else like baking, I've got an oven at home. But inconvenience and the lack of freedom do put me off. Like how being in the kitchen disrupts my maids work and then she'd start to grumble like crazy. I hate it when people do not give me space to do what I want. Especially so when I am learning. I hate it. I learn best when you throw me in the ditch and watch me struggle but do lend me a helping hand when I am close to drowning.

I had that freedom today. Mommy left us to mess the kitchen but we did help to clean up after ourselves. Its called being responsible too for what you do. It was fun. The dishes were really simple, egg tofu served fried without gravy or complimentary ingredients, the dishes were served one after the other (yes we were that disorganized this morning). But we really enjoyed eating what we cook. Talking about the food, thinking about ways to improve on it and for impatient little me, talk about ways I can try to tweak the recipe.

Folding the dumpling skin was the best part. I thought I had it right though and it looked neat. I had, of course, searched the web to find out how people make such perfect folds. And despite reading, I still got it wrong. I got one step but missed the most important one. Now I am itching to try folding more. Probably do it some time after my exams. You feel so proud of yourself you know.

Next time, we'd be having pasta though. You just dump the pasta in boiling water fry some meatballs or bacon or eggs, get that jar of pesto and mix everything together. This morning I had to pluck leaves out off the stem and break the stem up into smaller sticks and remove the cuticle from the stem. I suffered from a back ache after standing for so long at the basin.

But this is necessary, not just for me really. For the family. Ron and Chloe love to do something more hands on too and cooking is what they both are really interested in too. It gets mommy busy helping us. And its bonding time. My dad...well he helps when we call. So we're all good.

I really want to expose Ron to this though. I'm not going to let him off.

2011-10-15T22:15:00.003+08:00

Lol, suffering from a relapse.

Anyway, Page One is closing next March. Really saddened by the news. Like WTH! Its like the second reason why I go to Vivo City. First being for the huge comfortable shop premise for each shop. Well, there will be a Page One book sale soon I guess...

Sale is on people, make sure you do some shopping after all your tests and before you hit the books again for the final exams.

I bought a pair of Unicorn earrings. They stick out and are quite heavy. I don't think I'll wear them that often, but I really think they look cool. Found the River Island Strawberry Beanie! Contemplated, hesitated and finally gave them up. Couldn't think of how I could match them. Found a very nice pair of boots from Zara. Its those that look like hiking boots. They go really well with plaid shirts. I WANT! But 99 bucks?? Need to shop for clothes for my trip to taiwan. Maybe get another plaid/tartan shirt...

Ah shopping. Brings you endless joy...

2011-10-14T01:31:00.003+08:00

A Korean meal shall we?

Craving for it like now.